(I just wanted to say that Nurse Tuffy-Tail is based on my friend who has been shamfully treated by not just Tyrone but many others. And yes, another one just recently.)
Puffing and panting Penelope Prickle-Bonnet climbed the last few feet of the steep hill. When she reached the top she sat and rested until her breathing and her heart rate slowed down to normal again. She thought that it was time to heed the advice she had been given about going on a healthy diet. Well, maybe tomorrow or perhaps even the next day - time would tell. Through her reverie the sound of someone calling out, “Penny,” brought her back to the present and she peered in the direction of the voice. “What is it?” she boomed and a blurred figure came closer and closer until it reached her.
With a huge sigh, Pip Prickle-Bonnet leaned close to her ear and yelled, “Penny it’s me, your cousin Pip. You know, your eyesight and hearing are getting worse.” Penny hotly denied this and told him that she had heard and seen him but was miles away and deep in thought. “Mmmph,” he grunted, doubting her words.
Changing the subject, something she was an expert at, Penny asked her cousin whether he had heard about Nurse Tuffy-Tail. Pip replied that it was all over and around and about. He went on to say that he had the version from the Horse’s Mouth.
“What do you mean by ‘all over and around and about’?” asked Penny.
Pip explained that the gossip had spread far and wide. Each time it was told the tale became farther removed from the true version of events. Penny retorted that she had it on good authority from a Rattertoui and Pip shook his head in disbelief. It was a well-known fact that the Rattertouis liked tale embroidery and he told her as much. She was about to defend her source and Pip quickly started to recount the official version of the sad saga.
Pip informed Penny that Nurse Tuffy-Tail’s partner had gone from Portland on to Pastures New with a very young squirrel from the Faraway Forest. He just bounded off one morning without a ‘by-your-leave’ and left Nurse Tuffy-Tail to fend for herself. He hadn’t even left so much as a nut in the tree store!
Penny gasped at this news and for the first time in her life was at a loss for words. Pip nodded and said that these things seem to happen more and it was too easy to get separated these days. He added that strong bonds were now needed to stem this sad tidal-flow and the consequent chain of events.
He told Penny that Nurse Tuffy-Tail was just managing to bob along on the small income she earned from the National Hoot Service and was making ends meet by running Fur ‘n’ Hair Courses for those wishing to keep ahead in the field. Unfortunately, Dr. Hypocrites Hoot did not approve of her alternative methods and so being well qualified did not automatically mean that she was well rewarded. Apparently, poor Nurse Tuffy-Tail was getting herself deeper and deeper into a hole.
With curiosity aroused Penny wanted to know the name of poor Nurse Tuffy-Tail’s ex-partner. Pip was unsure of this but he thought that it was ‘Tyrone’. This was a new name for Penny and she sat for a few moments repeating it out loud. Her cousin wondered what all the chanting was and she explained that with old age creeping upon her it was getting harder to retain things. Apparently it was the only way she knew of making things sink in!
“Memories are made of enchanting moments,” Penny said with a smile on her tiny face.
Pip chuckled as the mention of memory suddenly reminded him that he was going to coax Penny into upgrading her sight and sound equipment. Was his memory going too or had he just been very cleverly sidetracked? The latter seemed most likely.
Penny enquired why the departed partner was not supporting Nurse Tuffy-Tail and Pip told her that it was not obligatory now for him to do this. Pip went on to say that Nurse Tuffy-Tail’s partner had well and truly strayed because his new partner was heavily with babies now. These would soon be a priority for him to support.
This still didn’t satisfy Penny and she said, “Pip, it is not Nurse Tuffy-Tail’s fault that her partner has strayed.”
Pip shrugged and told her that it was just the ‘Lore of the Land’.
“Well it is a very silly Lore that doesn’t protect the innocent,” Penny said with much indignation.
Still unsatisfied Penny demanded to hear more of the official gossip. Pip thought for a moment and decided to humour her. He told Penny that it was quite normal for the deserting party to have half of both the hard-earned nest egg as well as the family home. This had never seemed right to Penny, as it did not seem fair for the deserting party to have cake and be able to eat it too. They definitely did not deserve it.
Pip had to agree on this occasion because Tyrone had not only taken his fair share but also the nut cache. Penny remarked, “So Pip, not only has he had the cake to keep and eat but he has also had the icing on the top.”
With regret he remarked, “Yes, Penny. I am aware of this but as the cache had been taken poor Nurse Tuffy-Tail is considered totally spent. Even though Tyrone’s grasping actions are common knowledge, around and about, I’m afraid to say that, in the Eyes of the Law, Nurse Tuffy-Tail doesn’t have a paw to stand on.”
Penny was totally needled by this and snapped, “He should be made to change his name, by Hop Pole, to Tyrant!”
Suddenly, Penny wanted to know why the Sackcloths also came out with so much when they too were Runaway Rodents of the straying kind.
Pip had no answer for this but with a little inspiration he declared that it must come through bad breeding. “I thought you wanted to know about Nurse Tuffy-Tail,” he added. Penny did but Nurse Tuffy-Tail’s tale had reminded her of the latest Sackcloth saga. Pip took a deep breath and sighed.
In a very loud voice he continued by telling Penny that Sister Sally Sackcloth had been shamefully treated just like Nurse Tuffy-Tail.
Her ‘life-long’ partner had left her but she had just managed to keep her squeak intact. Apparently, he went off to a neighbouring nest and all because Sister Sally was unable to bear his babies. It was a great surprise when he scampered away of his own accord because he was such a mouse - no one thought he had it in him. Sligo, as he was named, left Sister Sally to refurbish and maintain the material nest and when it was nearly all done and dusted he demanded his share.
Penny was totally overwhelmed by this news and started to protest again but Pip said that there was more. “Be quiet Penny and listen so you can get the whole picture.” He carried on with the sad tale of Sally Sackcloth by telling her that Sister Sally had consequently become nest-less but she had just enough to keep her in borrowed board and lodgings.
A young and affluent pair who knew nothing of its past turmoil had soon bagged her nest. They did realise though just how lucky they were to own such a beautifully kept, well built and unusual dwelling. It was unusual in as much as it was constructed from pieces of sacking – Hessian bags were a very rare building commodity now. These days, most new homes were very flimsily constructed with the latest materials – cardboard and paper. They definitely had no substance and were not built to last. The biggest problem was the damp and so these modern constructions soon disintegrated in the cold and damp.
The young family gradually sensed a great sadness within their new home but the laughter and the patter of tiny paws soon lifted the gloom. Of course this was no great consolation for Sister Sally but she wished them well none-the-less.
Her main problem now was keeping afloat because she, like Nurse Tuffy-Tail, was out of favour with Dr. Hoot and found it very difficult to keep her clinic running. Just to make matters worse, her well nurtured and grown up family had little or no time for her anymore.
Penny stopped Pip and said, “I went to see her only last week and her clinic was empty - so, that explains it all.” Penny’s hackles went up as she very indignantly said that it seemed amazing to her how many of Sally’s ‘so called’ friends had deserted her at such a time. “No wonder she was looking sad, Pip. Sally was saying that you hadn’t been to see her for ages.”
Pip began to look most uncomfortable but luckily Penny had not noticed. However, she did ask Pip why he’d stopped attending the clinic for his Prickly Heat Rash and rather sheepishly he replied that it had cleared up.
“What about your current Sitting Tenants?” Penny demanded to know. Again he countered, this time with a little fib pointing out that the changing climate and diet had sent them hopping! Penny sighed and realised Pip could not be counted amongst Sally’s friends.
Because he, like Penny, was adroit at changing the subject he told Penny that it was high time she went to Dr. Hoot for a hearing upgrade. Poor Pip was getting very hoarse with all the shouting because he was forced to yell in order that Penny would hear him. What made it even more trying was the fact that she constantly said, ‘Pardon’ following a question.
Knowing how poor her sight was, Pip wondered how she had managed to see his sitting tenants and he told her that she now required glasses to get a better outlook on life. Penny was most indignant and denied that there was any problem with her main senses.
Pip chortled and Penny said, “Pardon?”
No matter how cross Penny made him he had to smile at her ways. In the firmest tone he could muster he said, “You must make an appointment with the necessary specialists Penny, for your own safety if nothing else.” In an attempt to make her feel less badgered, Pip explained that there was nothing wrong with the new extra sensory aids. “If it is only vanity that’s stopping you Penny, then you will be pleased to hear that they are very discreet these days,” he informed her.
Sensing that he had her full attention he told her that little notice was taken of them because they were in such common use and, in some cases, even considered fashionable. As soon as he saw that Penny was starting to waver he carried on while he was still ahead. His persistence finally paid off and Penny agreed to make an appointment.
“I will do it for you because I am heading out that way,” he told her.
After a lull in conversation Penny asked what the huge object was at the bottom of the hill. Earlier that evening she had been quite unnerved when she had walked into it. Pip looked down the hill to where Penny pointed and told her that it was just a flat tyre. “No Pip, I mean the other object.”
He looked again to where Penny pointed and explained, “Oh that is an old and discarded slipper.”
Pip’s information inspired Penny to comment that it was rather like Sister Sally. He looked blankly at her and noticing his puzzlement she explained that there seemed to be a new trend. It entailed owning something and when it was no longer useful casting it away.
“It is not a new trend at all, Penny. In fact it is just a part of life’s progress discarding any unwanted bits and pieces,” he informed her.
Penny agreed with this but pointed out that she was just speaking ‘petaphorically’. Not having a clue what Penny meant he began to wonder why his cousin invented words when she probably hadn’t the faintest idea what the correct word meant in the first place.
He was brought out of his reverie by Penny. “You would not discard me just because I was getting old and decrepit, would you Pip?” she implored.
Pip was thoughtful for a moment and said, “I hadn’t thought of it quite like that.”
“Well you have learnt something tonight,” Penny snapped which startled Pip because it was out of character for her to snap.
However he regained his composure and remarked, “Yes, and you have almost learned to overcome your prickly pride. I guess we all still have much to learn even though we may think that we know it all.”
This made Penny’s hackles go upright and she hotly denied being over-proud.
In order to soothe her Pip said, “It was not meant as an insult,” and re-worded the remark about pride saying, “You shouldn’t worry what others might say about the way you look. You know you are a softie with a big heart and that is all that matters to me.”
Penny blushed and told him not to be so silly.
Pip was a little taken aback and said, “You obviously don’t see yourself as I see you,” and added, “I love you, no matter what.” The compliments rather flustered her but she thanked him graciously.
“Just remember the old saying, Penny, ‘Cars and bikes may break my spikes but others’ bad thoughts won’t hurt me!’ It is a very profound old saying and extremely true,” and reminded her that he would get the appointment details to her in the usual manner via the ‘Worm Bellygraph’ service. “Next time we meet, Penny, you will most likely be in full working order again and we can go for a bread and milk banquet to celebrate,” he suggested.
They both chuckled and Penny said that she thought they were going for one this evening.
“It is too late now Penny. We have spent too much time putting their World to rights,” and he gave her a rueful smile.
Realising that Pip hadn’t finished telling her about Nurse Tuffy-Tail, she was just about to ask him for the final instalment when Pip told her that he had to scamper and would catch her again soon. He bade her, ‘Farewell,’ and departed before she could say another word. The short-sighted hedgehog watched his hazy outline disappearing into the distance and yelled, “Good bye.”
++++++++
Curling up into a ball she rolled down the hill and when she was back on level ground Penny stood on her own four paws again. Just avoiding the discarded slipper she scampered into the safety of the nearby hedgerow. As bread and milk were not on the menu she dug out some grubs and satisfied her hunger – which was more than can be said for her curiosity!
Penny kept thinking about what Pip had told her and when her meal was digested she said her prayers and curled up into a ball again.
With all the night’s excitement the curled up hedgehog was soon sound asleep. At least in her world of dreams life was a bed filled with flowers and she was able dream in colours that suited her ideals.
That night Penny dreamt that the castaway rubbish was being recycled. This was an innovation and so obvious that it was a wonder the idea had not already been thought of. In Penny’s dream it seemed that nests were roofed with rubber tiles made from discarded tyres and so they became more durable. Even so, a good roof over the head did not mean an eternal watertight guarantee - eventually the foundations would be undermined by rising damp. Thus a refurbishment would still be necessary.
The following waking hours for Penny were filled with the joys of passing on her visionary dream in a constructive manner. Many jumped at the idea of home improvements and it would not be long, Penny thought wryly, before this new resource became thin on the ground. Of course, there were those who went overboard and re-tiled their whole nest in waterproofing material. It was to transpire that the whole idea was very short-sighted - or was it?
