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NuckingFutsoCase's blog: "Changes"

created on 02/08/2008  |  http://fubar.com/changes/b186282

Beautifully broken..

Eventually all the pieces will fall into place, until then? Laugh at the confusion, live for the moment and know that everything happens for a reason. Somewhere along the course of life, you learn about yourself and realize there should never be regrets, only a lifelong appreciation of the choices you've made. It's not where you came from; it's where you're going. It's not what's on you, but what's in you. It's not what you're driving; it's what drives you. It is not what you are but what you are willing to make of yourself. If nothing changed, there'd be no butterflies. Life is chaos; chaos is life. Control is an illusion. Enjoy yourself. These are the good old days you're going to miss in the years ahead. These are the days you will wish to be able to live again even if it were only for a brief moment. It's funny how one moment can change your entire life. It's scary how decisions we make today can come and haunt us for the rest of our life. Sometimes you have stop and remember, you are not going to live forever. Enjoy life while you have the time, be young, think smart, stay true, and just follow your heart. Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time. So oftentimes it happens, we all live our life in chains, and we never even know we have the key. You have to take some chances, you have to risk losing it all, you have to close your eyes and leap because it just might be worth the fall. Even if it hurts, it will be a lesson learned. Life is about change, sometimes it's painful, sometimes it's beautiful, but most of the time it's both. You cannot always wait for the perfect time; sometimes you must dare to jump. Sometimes there is no next time, no time out, no second chances... Sometimes it's now or never. Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do. Your whole life is about to change in a way that it will never be the same again, you're opening a new chapter, and you have to give a proper goodbye to the old one. You don't want to miss these moments, even the sad ones, because you'll never get them back again. So enjoy this time, let it wash over you so that your memories of it are strong. Sometimes there are things in our life that aren't meant to stay. Sometimes change may not be what we want. Sometimes change is what we really need. And sometimes saying goodbye is the hardest thing you think you'll ever have to do, but sometimes it's saying 'hello again' that breaks you down and makes you the most vulnerable person you'll ever know. Sometimes change is too much to bear, but most of the time change is the only thing saving your life. There are 2 things, which prevent us from achieving our dreams. The first is the belief that they are impossible and the second is seeing them made possible by the twist of the wheel of fortune when we least expect it. For at that moment, all our fears rise to the surface: the fear of suddenly setting off along a road heading god knows where, the fear of a life full of new challenges, the fear of losing forever all that is familiar. Maybe happiness didn't have to be about the big, sweeping circumstances, about having everything in your life in place. Maybe it was about stringing together a bunch of small pleasures. Wearing slippers and watching Miss. Universe contest. Maybe happiness was just a matter of the little up ticks-the traffic signal that said Walk the second you got there-and down ticks-the itchy tag at the back of your collar-that happened to every person in the course of a day. Maybe everybody had the same allotted measure of happiness within each day. Maybe it didn't matter if you were a world-famous heartthrob or a painful geek. Maybe it didn't matter if your friend was possibly dying. Maybe you just got through it. Maybe that was all you could ask for. It's funny how the world changes sometimes, how the streets you walked your entire life seem darker, colder. How the silence isn't so quiet anymore. How eyes you've barely even noticed now look at nothing but you, how the walk home every night is no longer routine, but a victory. And then you begin to wonder...maybe it's not the world that's changed. Maybe it's just you and then, suddenly...you begin to wonder all over again. As time goes by, life has a way of rearranging itself. People enter your life, and inevitably, they leave as well. Others will re-enter through a door we thought was closed. Things have a tendency to happen that can turn your world upside down. You'll come to realize eventually, that even though things are different, not much has changed. No one asks for their life to change. Not really. But it does. The big moments are going to come, can't help that. It's what you do afterwards that really counts. That's when you find out who you are. Change is never easy; you fight to hold on, you fight to let go. Time is the best and worst thing we've got. Because nothing lasts forever - but then again, nothing ever stays the same. We can never turn back the pages of time, though we may wish to relive a happy moment, or say goodbye just one last time, we never can, because the sands of time continue to fall, and we can't turn the hourglass over. Growing up happens in a heartbeat. One day you're in diapers, next day you're gone. But the memories of childhood stay with you for the long haul. I remember a place... a town... a house like a lot of other houses. A yard like a lot of other yards... On a street like a lot of other streets. And the thing is... after all these years, I still look back... With wonder. Growing up is never easy. You hold on to things that were. You wonder what's to come. But then one night, you'll know it will be time to let go of what had been, and look ahead to what would be. Other days, new days, days to come. The thing is, we don't have to hate each other for getting older. We just have to forgive ourselves... For growing up. It's hard to accept, but you can't change the past. You can't go back and manipulate things to the way you wanted them to happen, because life would be meaningless and boring and just not worth living. But you can change the future and that's a beautiful thing about life. Yes, you will make mistakes. And yes, you will have bad days - but as long as you let the past go, you'll have such a gorgeous and bright future ahead of you, knowing that things were meant to happen. Knowing that each day you will learn something so that you keep growing to be a better person. Life is like a rope, twined in all its complexities and yet weaved into one marvelous stream that you have the chance you use something amazing from. So grab hold of it. Being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up; these are the best days of our lives. The only thing that matters is just following your heart and eventually you'll finally get it right. When is the age or even the moment when you go from being kids to being something else? People say that we're growing up too fast today. Sometimes adults make it sound like it's our fault or at least our choice, but how can we not? We feel invincible, we know so much. One thing I do know is that we're so eager to lose our innocence and I wonder if one day, we'll look back and wish we hadn't. When exactly did we go from being kids to just being people, I'm not sure. I do know that it's not about turning a certain age or graduating from school. It happens when you're not paying attention. We go from playing with our friends to playing with our friend's feelings. Without our knowledge or consent childhood slips away in the night and our innocence escapes us and we wake up one morning to find we have become who we are. I wonder if one day when you look back on your life you'll see it's not always about the big picture. It's really all about the moments and maybe one day you'll look back and string all those moments together and then you'll realize when you add them all up, your life is more meaningful than you could have dreamed. I've lived in this place and I know all the faces. Each one is different, but they're always the same. They mean me no harm but its time that I face it; they'll never allow me to change... But, I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong... I'm moving on. We all start out in kindergarten thinking we can be anything we want to be. And by the time we get here, we've all lost that feeling. We've all started to believe whatever our friends or our parents have told us about what we can achieve in life and who we can be. And we've forgotten about the possibility we had when we were younger. Still remember the world from the eyes of a child; slowly those feelings were clouded by what I know now. Where has my heart gone, an uneven trade for the real world. I want to go back to believing in everything and knowing nothing at all. Just when a caterpillar thinks the world is going to end, it turns into a butterfly. The turning point in the process of growing up is when you discover the core of strength within. You start life with a clean slate. Then you begin to make your mark. You face decisions, make choices. You keep moving forward. But sooner or later there comes a time where you look back over where you have been... and wonder who you really are. Everything changes eventually. That's just the way life is. And you have no control over it. Suddenly people you thought would always be there disappear. People die, they move away, and they grow up. As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. People change its a part of life, but sometimes its easier to hold on to the memories of who they were...rather than to realize who they have become. The reason people hold onto memories for so long is because it's the only thing that doesn't change. It hurts deeply when someone you know becomes someone you knew. Just because everything is different doesn't mean anything has changed.
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