CELL PHONE 10 COMMANDMENTS
1. Thou shalt not dial while driving
In all seriousness, this madness has to stop. There are enough people in the world who have problems mastering vehicles and phones individually. Put them together, and we have a serious health hazard on our hands.
2. Thou shalt not wear thy earpiece when thou art not on thy phone
You there, the one wearing the Bluetooth earpiece because you are just so important that at any given moment, a critical call could come through, and you need to be able to answer it while gesticulating wildly as if to say, "I am so important, I have a Bluetooth earpiece that I must wear at all times." Yeah, you. Knock that off, would ya?
3. Thou shalt not speak louder on thy cell phone than thou would on any other phone Yes, it's true that cell phones don't relay what you say into the mouthpiece out through your earpiece the way regular phones do, but they still pick up and transmit your voice just fine. No need to shout.
4. Thou shalt not grow too attached to thy cell phone
For obvious reasons, a dependency on constant communication is not healthy. At work, go nuts. At home, give it a rest.
5. Thou shalt not slam thy cell phone down on a restaurant table just in case it rings
This is not the Old West, and you are not a gunslinger sitting down to a game of poker in the saloon. Could you please be a little less conspicuous? If it rings, you'll hear it just as well if it's in your coat pocket or on your belt.
6. Thou shalt not make the cell phone more important than the company thou art keeping
"If [thou wantest] to talk on [thy] cell phone, [thou] don't need my company," says reader Sherrie.This also means no phoneage when a waiter is taking your order ("If the call is that important, step outside and come back in when you're done!" ponders commenter Ann) or when you're at the front of the checkout line.
7. Thou shalt not leave the cell phone ringing just to show off the "cool" ringtones or refrain from answering for that same reason
"Not everyone wants to listen to a cellphone ringing for minutes, even if it sounds 'cool' to you,"
8. Thou shalt turn off thy cell phone at funerals, weddings, yoga class, and anywhere it would be unacceptable to bring a screaming child
Commenter M. Stout proposes the Crying Baby Test. If you would be embarrassed to have a crying baby in a situation, then silence your phone.
9. Thou shalt not have a message intro lasting more than 15 seconds
"If I wanted to listen to 'We Are the Champions,' I would have listened to it before I called," decrees commenter Frank. I'm sure many of us remember George Costanza's answering- machine greeting set to the theme song of The Greatest American Hero. It was a riot, but sorry, you are no George Costanza.
10. Thou shalt never answer your phone while you're in the bathroom
In this information age, we must never lose sight of three very important letters: TMI.
