Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if
>>>they aren't prepared for the answer.
>>> In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called
>>>his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He
>>>approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
>>>
>>> She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've
>>>known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a
>>>big disappointment to
me. You lie; you cheat on your wife, and you
>>>manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You
>>>think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you
>>>never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher.
>>>Yes, I know you."
>>>
>>> The lawyer was stunned!
>>> Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and
>>>asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"
>>> She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since
>>>he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking
>>>problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his
>>>law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to
>>>mention He cheated on his wife with three different women. One of
>>>them was your wife. Yes, I know him."
>>>
>>> The defense attorney almost died.
>>> The judge asked counselors to approach the bench and, in very
>>>quiet voice, said, "If either of you fucking idiots asks her if
>>>she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair."
>>>
