Simply Clueless 808's blog: "Captured in thought"

I am going thru some things here on maui dealing with my sons death and the circumstances so please do not think I have forgot you I am just very emotional love you all Sandee

I am sad I am , and sad I am said I am sad. It's so sad to see that sad I am has to go to such and extreme. To get some attention.. Thanks for bothering your self and all your busy time to take time out to pretend to read this. Just rate it and for get that the gal behind here ... Well she is having issues. And is going to be doing major house keeping and delete all that do not at least say hi and thanks for the help. I spend a lot of time helping you ... You send me links to a pic and I do my best rating and comment bombing for lots of you. only for you to forget that I exist. With out even a thank you! THIS MESSAGE IS FOR THE FEW THAT KNOW WHO YOU ARE..... DELETE, BLOCK AND I WILL NOT BE BOTHERED ....OH WELL DELETE DELETE DELETE

I'm glad your my friend... Yep..working working working. But I'm not going to write about that..oh no. This entry is dedicated to my friends. Every single one of you. Been through a lot went through some changes, but you're still hanging by my side and you don't know how much that means to me. Yes, I know I'm weird,impatient,quiet.aloof and sometimes not there all together.. but so are you dammit. In fact you're alot like me. But I love you nonetheless and will always respect you forever and ever. It's very hard for me to open up to people and trust me it takes a long while just to even get started, but I've been making a lot of progress. All thanks to you ... my friends. Looking back on the years I've seen how I've grown as a person..meaning I actually talk now. I couldn't have done it without your friendship and you constantly yelling at me and bothering me..driving me crazy..causing me to yell back,lol but it was all worth it and I thank you. I've learned that you don't have to be "cool", just be yourself and everything will fall in place. What's the fun in pretending to be someone you're not? I always look forward to our crazy adventures and there'll be plenty more to come. I wouldn't have been able to understand the true meaning of happiness without you all in my life. Whatever you need I'll try my best to get/do/make for you. Whenever you need me I'll be there. You were there for me and I'll never forget that. I don't know what I'd do without you. Let's stick together, through thick and thin. I love you and I thank you for everything. I wouldn't be who I am today if it wasn't for you and the support and encouragement and love you show me. Life has only begun and our lives will continue to blossom together..I know it. This entry also applies to my "new" friends. I love you all very much. Maybe I don't know all of you very well..yet, but I will try my best to lower my wall and show you my true self as quickly as possible. You guys have also been there for me..being in a new environment with new people and new experiences. Had lots of crazy fun and can't wait for more! Because of you opening up so quickly it made me realize how I acted secluded. It was always you telling me things about yourself and telling me your stories. I didn't give much in return and I apologize, but I'm trying my best. It's strange..my mind just becomes blank whenever we chat or shouts go out and stories are being exchanged. I really don't know why, but I'll try my best to fix that. Feel free to yell at me..it might help. I love you guys and thanks for everything. We have so much more time to spend together and I'll cherish every minute. You were, are, will always be..my friend. And I will be forever in your debt. What we share is priceless, pure, fulfilling, everything and anything I could ever hope to find in a friendship. You bring light into my life and a smile to my face. I couldn't ask for more. I'm more than honored to call you my friend..once again..I love you and thank you. I hope I've made some kind of impact on your life. Maybe even to the same magnitude that you've made on mine? Come on now...say you love me....I know you wanna!!! Did I make a funny? Haha..Now you're thinking I'm a Crazy lady , but that's ok cuz it's true. And I'm loving it!! I wanna make you smile Make you laugh Keep you happy, stay by your side Tell you my secrets, dreams, and desires I'm like a little child Yearning for your affection I'm not sure what to do But my heart tells me to be myself Please accept me for who I am I'll only love you for loving me..all of you.

My son's death left so many questions unanswered and this I found on line by one close to the situation in my sons death you be the judge.. .Time Left Me In the Dust By:christian Kalei Time is Something we hold in our hands What we do with it we'll never understand It's gone with a hello and a shake of the hand. Never enough time for those you hold dear But an entire Lifetime for sadness and tears. Time is something you'll never see at all For it passes so quickly, while you lean on a wall. Who knows where time goes, But Im sure of What I have Done For the Words I've said It must've Stunned And now I hide my emotion's inside Just Because I wanted her by my side So Time had stopped for me here No Wind nor Noise could I hear So Im really alone in this world after all And in the end, I Knew I would fall So Love I say Goodbye to you Now there's nothing For me to do I guess this here ends My chapter Goodbye Everybody here on after...