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I was asked today by my SO why I have seemed so angry lately and why I seemed to pull away from her lately. I am currently 500 miles away from her and didn't want to go over it on the phone. Here it is in a nutshell.... It seems that I can never initiate intimacy. It ALWAYS has to be her show. Then she makes promises (of a risque nature) and then doesn't follow through. When we are intimate all that it seems she wants is to get in one position have me do my business then get off of her. She even complains when I go too long. She seems to be enjoying the action but it makes me wonder. So if I seem distant lately its that I am so F*&^^ing tired of being rejected!!!. Is it so wrong to want to "make love" and not just have sex. I think there is a difference. If anything I feel like I am being used and not just in the bedroom but in the rest of our lives as well. It seems that all i am good for is a paycheck and to do work around the house. Maybe its just a combination of depression caused by the fact that I turn 39 this Friday and wont have anybody to share it with.
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