Today I've got to go to chapel hill and get my treatment then I'm going to come home and work on my sissy's home work. I found everything that I needed last night now I just need to put all my notes I made into the paper. Alex is going to go stay over at my father-in-law's house while I go to c-h. He came home last night talking about going bye bye to aunt sheila's house. Witch he will be going up there around christmas time cause I'm going. But my baby going any where is hard for me. I don't let him spend the night over at anyone's house really cause of him having probs in the middle of the night. But he's going to spend Firday night over at pawpaw's house cause they have this thing at church saturday morning and he said it would be easier for him to just spend the night him and Jake. But anyways. I'm going to have my nease and nef (Caleb, Lexis) Firday night and then I think I'm going to have my god son Chris Saturday night. I'm going to try and plan something for us all to do that way I will keep them outta their mommy's hair for one day and give the kids a happy time with me. I love kids and want them to love me so I'm going to really try and make sure that they have fun over here that way they will loves me. lol But I want to take them all to the park saturday before my sister comes in. But my luck it will be cold or raining. But Alex's doctor is talking about him having to have open heart surgrey with is really fucking with my head badly. I'm scared outta my wits. I know I wish I had some time with out him but the throught of not having him scares the hell outta me. I love him he's my life and I don't want to lose my baby. He's the only baby that well prob have. My three older kids are going to spend christmas with me this year. So I'm trying to buy their christmas gifts. I'm going saturday and getting a few more things cause David is going to get his big payday. But then next week they are talking about working over all week that means David being outta town the whole week *crying* I hate when he's outta town but I love the paydays at the end of the week so I'm kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place. But this getting up this early in the morning is really getting to me. I hate not being able to get real sleep. I haven't really slept in so long I forget what sleep is. But anyways that's about it. I'll update later with halloween pictures. I hope all is great with everyone else *peace*
