I can't stand this anymore, i just can't stand it. i hate weddings, i absolutely fucking hate them. weddings should die and cease to exist. everything has to be fucking perfect. well guess what? i dont' give a damn how the fucking chairs need to be completely straight. i don't want to decorate, i don't want to wear a dress, i don't want to wear makeup, and i don't want to wear high heals!!! yes i love you but i can't deal w/ your bridezilla bullshit right now!!!! i don't want to be around all these people that i'm never gonna see again. i'm sick people telling me what to do and how to do it. guess what? i'm already doing it so don't tell me to do it and how to do it. it looks fine. basically what it all comes down to is i'm jealous. i'm jealous of your love. i'm jealous that i'm never gonna be able to have a wedding. i'm never gonna walk down the isle and see my loved one at the other end. i'm not gonna be able to bitch and complain because it's my day and it's gonna be done my way. and to top it all off i get to do this AGAIN in 2 fucking weeks!!! ahhhhh!!!! i'm gonna kill someone. always a bridesmaid never a bride.
