The wind picks up and blows sand and saltwater, hitting my face and making my eyes sting. The air has turned frigid but I barely notice. I am intent on making my way to the end of this little stretch of beach.
As I turn back to look to where I started from I see just a hint of light from the flames of the bonfire. I can’t hear much anymore. No words reach me here. Maybe I should stop. Maybe I am far enough away now.
I find an old beach log, smoothed out from the elements. I sit and barely feel the cold seeping through my jeans. I am alone, nothing new. I came here to escape and forget. But as I sit here with the waves crashing and the dark approaching. I let it go. All the pent up and repressed emotions I have been holding back finally make their escape and I cry with as much force as the wind around me. The pain is all consuming and feels like it is going to swallow me whole. I am going to drown in it and I don’t care anymore.
My life has changed and there is no going back to the way it was. Everyone but me is dead. I don’t understand why I didn’t die with them. What saved me and why?
I am not worthy. I shouldn’t be here. My life should have been taken along with the others.
Suddenly I realize I am not alone. There is something in the shadows. I can’t see what it is but I can feel it. I know it is watching me. While I was giving into my pain the night has crept up. I should be afraid but there is no fight in me, there are no feelings left
A voice speaks from the darkness
“You are not safe here. You must go. Run! ” It says “RUN!!"
