10. Your drum and chant ends with "Hey! Macarena!"
9. You find your animal totem in the other world, and
it pees on your leg.
8. Your psychic visions are interrupted by
commercials.
7. You're making a medicine wheel when someone comes
up and starts yelling,
That's my steering wheel!"
6. Bored with the sweat lodge, you ask the guy beside
you to pull
Your finger.
5. You're asked to put out the sacred fire in your
apartment.
4. You put on the wolf skin and begin chanting, and
then you hear a growling
sound in your ear.
3. You're spirit guide did ten years in the state
penitentiary, wants
To know where the action is.
2. You believe you're taking a mind-altering
substance, then your
Wife asks where her birth control pills are.
AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOU'RE NOT A VERY GOOD WITCH
1. You thought Soul Retrieval was a James Brown song
