Just letting everyone know what has been going on with things. Most of you know that my grandfather has been in the hospital for months and had surgery on his heart. We are coming up on the 2nd month of him being in ICU. It has been so hard to witness this. Someone who read one of my post asked me how can I be so honest in my blogs. Like I said before I do it more for me to help me keep from totally breaking down. This is my time to put everything I feel out there and get it out of me. If not I think I would keep it in and probably come close to exploding. Not to mention the fact that for anyone else facing anything bad either it be family member sick or just something personal in their life. Maybe just maybe it will let them know that they dont have to suffer alone.
I can no longer stay up in the waiting room. My body is just so beat up from my own surgery. I stayed a week and my sis convinced me that I needed to come home or I would end up doing more damage to myself. Since then I have been going up at least 2-3 times a week. I wish I could things were so pretty and awesome but again reality is its not. Grandfather is still hooked up to so many tubes and lines its unreal to think of. They took the tube from his mouth and put a trach in his throat. So now the vent helps him breath that way. On a good note though they are slowly trying to ween him bit by bit off that. For a couple hours a day he breaths all on his own. Long term goals are one day for him to breath all day himself and use the vent at night. Course he still cant talk and that is frustrating cause we cant judge how he is mentally. I had the docs start the music stimulant and this week we got the go ahead to pretty much take over his ICU room and put all the pics up we want. We can even bring in a CD player and my sis and I are gonna get books on CD and play for him to see if we can stimulant his mind a lil more. My sis and I both have come to realize that maybe at times he slips into a lil bit of dementia. I noticed it and she did too and we finally told each other. Honestly at times we both said we felt like we were talking to a child. Other times you can see grandfather in there when he is really having a good day. Again till he can speak we have no way of knowing what his real mental state being. Sis and I honestly told each other that he might do stuff when we ask simply because he might see us as people that visit him and if he makes us happy then maybe "The good people that come see me might come back if I make them happy and do stuff". I tell you what thinking about that is hard to even consider but it is something that we have had to consider.
I know yesterdays visit for my sis was hard because the 4th of July was her birthday. It has to be very hard to spend your birthday in a hospital and wanting so much to hear your grandfather say "Happy Birthday". One thing that touched each of us was in the mail thursday she got a card from a friend of the family. It was a birthday card that was signed granddaddy. She was really touched by that act of kindness. We know who did it and we called and told them how much it meant.
It has been so tough lately with my grandfather in the hospital and then a week ago my fiance Sandy lost her grandmother. She has dealt with it best she can and I know its been hard on her. She was there when her grandmother passed. Her grandmother was at home and surrounded by family. When the Lord reached down for his newest angel she felt no pain. She went to heaven and I know the Lord told her Welcome Home. I also like to think that her husband met her at the gates and took her hand and said "Honey let me show you around". Together again.
I will never be able to thank everyone out there for all the support you have given me. The prayers that I have received from so many of you has given me more courage than you can ever think. The littlest things have come to mean so much. God Bless You All!!! Ron
