EmeraldKisses's blog: "My Life"

I wish I could just say the words that’d make everything better. I am one of the blessed ones (or so I thought) to have parents able and wanting to be there for me when there grandson is born, but this weekend makes me question that. I love my mom and know she will never let me go thru any of this on my own. I love my dad but I question his actions. Knowing that he thinks being five hours away is still close enough to make it in time for a birth (if that should happen this weekend) really makes me question is knowledge of pregnancy; it doesn’t always happen by the book!

This is turning into a rant about my dad which I didn’t want it to.

There’s things under the surface other then it being Mother’s Day weekend.

Lets talk about friends and having a social life. Dad has work/coworkers to talk to and be around; I have my coworkers which I often and very thankful for! My mom has family; not to put my family down but sometimes we need more then family. I am much like my mom in the fact that many of the friends we had in high school grew up and moved away with their own families. Mom doesn’t work and dad and her don’t go anywhere to socialize. When dad gets home from work he wants to relax, but mom has done that on and off thru the day. What happened to the days of bowling and volleyball, mom got out of the house and there were other adults to talk to! The weekends are there for a reason! Not saying that’s the solution to the issues going on around me but it has something to do with it; this weekend was just some icing added to the cake.

Don’t just assume something its better to ASK then just guess at what someone is thinking. For example, “what would have to be done for you to go?” Wow, that’s a powerful question to ask; instead of just assuming they just don’t want to. You will be so surprised with what a question as simple as “what’s the plans for tonight?” could do. I got an even better one, “You look nice, are we going somewhere tonight?” WOW, that has bonus points and opportunity written all over it!

Ok I think I’ve gotten that off my chest.

I just hate to see my parents unhappy with each other over what seems like simple things to me.

You want to know what hurts the most? When you know that it is the last time you will ever see the person you love!!! It hurts bad right now. Itll hurt worse when I drive by his place and his car is no longer parked in its place. One can only hope that the saying "things have a way of working themselves out" is true because there is nothing I can do to change anything now! The one I love is gone and I don't know if I will ever get to see him again!

I look at pictures and all off sudden my mood goes from happy memories to being really sad... I miss the silly fights, the weird talks, the walks that I wished wouldnt end, but most of all I miss the smile. I know at this point I cant put myself back there because it was an emotional rollercoaster ride of ups and downs and twists and turns. I'm in a better state mentaly then I was back then and I could probably handle the emotions I was feeling much better now. There are still things I need to do before I can love again though. There have been guys in my life since then but I have yet to allow myself to open up to them; for fear of love? I do not know. More so maybe because I feel I have many flaws of which I do not wish to reveal to anyone because then I once again become vulnerable. I feel since those pictures my life has progressed more slowly then it would have had I stayed. I have one thing left on my list to do before I feel I can allow myself to open up once again. I may have found a guy who is willing to wait for me to discover my independence and check this one last thing off my list. Even though I am not looking for a relationship and we are just friends at this point I can feel gim growing on me at the same time I have to stayed pushed away for a few more months. I am not ready to let myself fall for anyone, I am setting my priorities and a relationship isnt on the list. The pictures hurt to look at though; so happy that it hurts to have lost that part of me and my life. I had a future and a direction then; I didn't need to do it all on my own, I had help. I'm alone now and it hurts sometimes but its also a reminder that I still have some growing up to do. I'm growing up and its hard to handle, but I'm doing it! I'm big city bound!

as you go through life you go through some changes and I would say that age is one of those things that changes a person at about 10 you start to realize that ppl you trust will lie to you at 16 when you gaining the trust of adults, the ability to drive, time to start thinking about getting a job, and you have now realized that sex is an option then again at 18 when you can buy tobacco products and your parents/elders are trusting you with so much, and its about this time when you need to make the decision of what your going to do with the rest of your life oo the magical age of 21 when you can legally walk into a bar and drink, and many of us are now looking to settle down with someone there are also many events/happenings that change your life drasticaly when you realize that all your childhood heros are false, and figures like santa and the easter bunny are lies as well the death of a very important family member the death of a great friend your first sexual encounter with the opposite sex the first time that you get so wasted that u have no idea what happened in the morning your first serious injury first major surgery your first real heartbreak and love and the list goes on... im at the point in my life where I need to find out what I want in life, what direction I want to go in, I once knew but I'm no longer interested in that subject matter... i have a job but I dont want to spend the rest of my life working with food... there is so much on my plate right now that the thought of love scares the shit out of me!!! I've proven to myself before that I'm not ready for love, so why would I be ready for it now? I have a few extra years under my belt now but that doesnt mean anything. I have a guy I'm interested in but I don't want to put him in the middle of everything!! ugh... sooo much

a female orgasam is like the bat cave few know where it is and even if it is found you dont know how to get out! ROFLMAO

I hope that the days come easy and the moments pass slow, And each road leads you where you want to go, And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose, I hope you choose the one that means the most to you. And if one door opens to another door closed, I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window, If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile, But more than anything, more than anything, My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to, Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small, You never need to carry more than you can hold, And while you're out there getting where you're getting to, I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too, Yeah, this, is my wish. I hope you never look back, but ya never forget, All the ones who love you, in the place you left, I hope you always forgive, and you never regret, And you help somebody every chance you get, Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake, And you always give more than you take. But more than anything, yeah, and more than anything, My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to, Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small, You never need to carry more than you can hold, And while you're out there getting where you're getting to, I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too, But more than anything, yeah, and more than anything, My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to, Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small, You never need to carry more than you can hold, And while you're out there getting where you're getting to, I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too, This is my wish i hope you know somebody who loves you may all you dreams stay big

That Crazy...: You dont believe in god who are you going to pray to? why would someone say that to a person??? I believe in a god, I cant say for sure what this god figure looks like or is, but I do believe in a god. I go to church with my family when I'm not working, so why would someone say that to me when all I said was I would be thinking of them and would say a prayer for them (he is having surgery tomarrow/monday). It makes me seriously want to cry.

o man, don't you love it when ppl make you the center of their world? but its even better when someone takes your advice and opinions and tries to turn them against you or into something negative... but that only means that you got them, you got under their skin and now they are really thinking about what was said and not just blowing it off! haha, my birthday weekend couldnt have gotten any better then getting that message while I was at work that someone had something for me to read, haha... just sucks I didnt get it till just a lil bit ago lol man if only everyone could be as thoughtful and respectful of another person! ROFLMAO o and if my thoughts and opinions on the situation didn't matter then why does he still read my blogs???? Damn, I love being the center of his world! LOL

Throughout the years, men have always asked me, "How do I make that first date as perfect as she expects it to be?" I've come up with a checklist of some of my favorite first-date tactics that will leave her glowing at the end of the night. In fact, these are so good, she'll be texting or calling you within the next 24 hours expecting more of the same! It's OK to suggest a drink instead of dinner for a first date. She dreads a potentially boring, four-course ordeal, too! Always call her by early evening on Tuesday to confirm a Wednesday get-together -- it's the polite thing to do and it lets her know you're already thinking about her. Be sure to leave both your home and work phone numbers. If you don't leave your home number, she might assume you have a wife or girlfriend. If you don't leave any number, she'll wonder what game you're playing. If you want to keep the plans a surprise, at least clue her in as to what to wear. You do not want an overdressed, overstressed woman navigating in high heels on a sunset beach walk. Always listen to what she has to say, and make sure you wait until she's done talking before responding. Don't assume that just because you're out with a beautiful woman, she knows how pretty she looks -- she wants to hear it from you. Don't go overboard, though, or she might think you're insincere. Men judge women according to whether they can picture having sex with them; women judge men by whether they can imagine kissing them. White teeth, fresh breath, great shoes, cell phone turned off, and unchapped lips make her more apt to lock lips with you that night. Do not ask her, "So, what kind of music do you like?" The last 10 guys asked that. Be original and instead fill your iPod with a great mix of music that expresses your style. Tip well. Believe me, she'll be watching. Reading body language is simple: If she touches your arm, she's interested. If she touches your leg, she's interested tonight. If she leans away from you the whole night, she is not interested at all. Very small gestures go a long way and show her you're a gentleman. When you drop her off at her house, be sure to wait the extra 30 seconds while she gets inside (and next time you might be going in with her!). Women need momentum. Without it, they lose interest or wonder if you have lost it, too. Follow up with a phone call the next night. Even more important, ask her out at the end of the date. Don't play games or wait. (this goes for the whole relationship) Never look at another woman when you are on a date. If she catches your wandering eye, you are done

so as most of you know i have this guy that I recently met after months and months of chatting online an on here... well when i met him i felt a spark and now it sucks that we are atleast 9hrs away from each other and its not like we can jump in our cas and meet half way he has his career and life, then I have my life here in NY which at this time I dont want to abandon too soon but yet desperatly what out of this town so right now I am so beyond frustrated and I'm having a hard time smiling all the time grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr just venting