I think its safe to say that I'm not going to get want I want. I mean I tried my hardest to do what was needed to obtain what I wanted and as of last night, I've come to realize that my hardest wasn't good enough(My Heart Aches).
My heart aches& My Soul shakes because of what I'm about to do. And after I do this the only thing I will be able to do after is turn and walk away.Even if it means putting my very being in a blender. But as it stands right now if I don't, I'll be a puppet to this game of Life. And thats one game where failure is not an option. So I guess the question is, should I stay or should I go. I don't want to go but the more I look at things the less room there is for any other option(so not what I'm wanting).
The Spring and the Fall
by Edna St. Vincent Millay (1892 - 1950)
In the spring of the year, in the spring of the year,
I walked the road beside my dear.
The trees were black where the bark was wet.
I see them yet, in the spring of the year.
They broke me a bough of the blossoming peach
That was out of the way and hard to reach.
In the fall of the year, in the fall of the year,
I walked the road beside my dear.
The rooks went up with a raucous trill.
I hear them still, in the fall of the year.
They laughed at all I dared to praise
And broke my heart, in little ways.
Year be spring or year be falling,
The bark will drip and the birds be calling.
There's much that's fine to see and hear
In the spring of a year, in the fall of a year.
'Tis not love's going hurt my days,
But that it went in little ways.