Mr Anderson aka The Mail Man's blog: "Life"

You know, when you sit back say I f-up, and the words "I Let Myself Down" come out your mouth things have hit bottom. And the only thing you can do after that is put your head in your hands cry. Because you know you have to live with the fact that, 1) you have destroyed all forms of redemption & self preservation, And 2) you know for a fact that you have lost 1 if not 2 values that you try to hold and keep close to your heart. What values you ask, well that I can not answer because everyone is different. "Why is it that now all is lost, I've learned to show my emotions. The end is in site, I've learned to say how I feel. All hope is lost, I fear to live on(but I must). A blackened Heart, By your own hand. The worst heart to have, Because you can no longer stand. On your own two feet you'll never regain, The balance you once had to "Thrive" & "Maintain".. From The Heart Of Yours Truly.......

Why? Why is it so hard to change yourself? You know deep down in side that you want to and you try so hard, but for every step forward you get knocked two steps back. I mean how do you overcome the odds, is it even possible. And you know what makes this hurt the most is that the ppl I'm trying to change for don't even see it. How do you make them see or even notice, How?........................................ ....................................................

I think its safe to say that I'm not going to get want I want. I mean I tried my hardest to do what was needed to obtain what I wanted and as of last night, I've come to realize that my hardest wasn't good enough(My Heart Aches). My heart aches& My Soul shakes because of what I'm about to do. And after I do this the only thing I will be able to do after is turn and walk away.Even if it means putting my very being in a blender. But as it stands right now if I don't, I'll be a puppet to this game of Life. And thats one game where failure is not an option. So I guess the question is, should I stay or should I go. I don't want to go but the more I look at things the less room there is for any other option(so not what I'm wanting). The Spring and the Fall by Edna St. Vincent Millay (1892 - 1950) In the spring of the year, in the spring of the year, I walked the road beside my dear. The trees were black where the bark was wet. I see them yet, in the spring of the year. They broke me a bough of the blossoming peach That was out of the way and hard to reach. In the fall of the year, in the fall of the year, I walked the road beside my dear. The rooks went up with a raucous trill. I hear them still, in the fall of the year. They laughed at all I dared to praise And broke my heart, in little ways. Year be spring or year be falling, The bark will drip and the birds be calling. There's much that's fine to see and hear In the spring of a year, in the fall of a year. 'Tis not love's going hurt my days, But that it went in little ways.

What is a Life Lesson? To me a Life Lesson is one where you do or say something horrible wrong, that the ramification are astronomical. Well I had One. so with that being said, My words to you are "What ever you do watch yourself close, because if not you will be in for the surprise of your Life".