Life and Loss
We enter this world, helpless and vulnerable and we will most likely leave it in the same manner. From the moment we are conceived, our physical clock begins ticking and we know not when or how it will stop. The space in between birth and death we call life.
How do we face death? Maybe the question should be how do we deal with loss? Each of us must at some point in our lives deal with it. It could be a natural thing, a job, a friendship, a marriage, a dream, a thought, a loved one. Most losses, although difficult to let go of at the time, are usually short term upsets in our lives. We can learn about it, accept it, embrace it, grieve it, then move on... mainly because when things are put in perspective, some things just arent that important.
The loss that is most difficult to move past is that of a loved one. In my lifetime, I have been blessed to have many wonderful people participate in my life. Many of them have made a lasting impression, a major impact on me. Some of them were only in my life for a short time, others an entire lifetime. The amount of time you spend with someone is of no significance... it is the quality of those meetings that does. Somehow, the attitude of those that make an impact on us becomes a part of us. Similar to osmosis.
Getting back to loss. We hold on because we fear letting go. We fear that letting go means that we no longer care, that it will diminish our feelings toward that person. In fact, letting go permits us to expand our senses and gives us the ability to hold on in a different form. Those we care about are ALWAYS with us. They have already made an impact on our lives and so it remains. Yes, we may miss the physical contact, the conversations, the excitement of being with them. Our bodies are just the encasement for our spirit, our heart and soul. The significant part of each of us lies within. Much like receiving a beautifully wrapped present. As beautiful as the wrapping and trim may appear, the true gift is on the inside. The same with our relationships. We can appreciate and enjoy our friends/loved ones---but what we truly possess is the feeling that person has given us. Feelings are emotions and attitudes---and our contact with every person we meet evokes these feelings. It is what either draws us closer, or pushes us away. Those that push us away also impart some value. They make us aware of what/who makes us uncomfortable and what/who we want to avoid. Those that draw us closer create something within us that brings us back again and again. No one wants to let go of that feeling. In reality...it is when those feelings overcome us and we let them go--- we are sharing a part of us---as well as a part of those who gave us those feelings to begin with. So in a sense letting go isnt a bad thing ---difficult at times, yes, but it is a way of keeping someone we care about alive.
As we face difficult times, when we have to prepare to say goodbye to someone dear to us I pray that we can do it gracefully. We all have a process that we have to go through and for each of us it is different. Maybe we can make that process a little easier by remembering that the part of that person that has significance is still with us. The body is at rest and the soul has gone on to a place that only the heavens know. So my friend, take some time to remember, to cry, to smile--- but dont waste too much time doing that. Letting go will help you to get closer to the person you loved and allow you to become a part of that person in a new and exciting way.
