Beyond Betrayed
Current mood: You don't wanna know trust me!!!!!
My mind fills with wonder, my heart with fright. Trusting won't be easy not with being lied to. People whom you should be able to trust, turn around screw with your head, emotions, taking you for granted. What a fool I was to believe I had such good friends, but now I see!
The grass is not greener, the sun was in my eyes. constantly wondering who's true. Pain of those who had me fooled. No more happiness, only tears! Which way do I go, which path do I take? What's the point anymore??
I can close my eyes to the things I do not want to see, cover my ears to things I wish not to hear, but I can't close my heart to the things I don't want to feel. I'm sick of smiling for myself and everyone else. No one really knows the shit I've been through and put up with. What I have to deal with now, the new shit that keeps on coming in.
Weather their my so-called friends or not, I mask my sadness, hide how I feel about myself, my life, the people in it..... just so they don't bxtch that I complain to much. Knowing all the while they talk smack about me behind my back.
I've noticed the worst feeling is to be there with them, on the phone with them, even on the net, watching them smile and act all cool and true. Knowing I can't trust them, they still believe I know nothing, like I'm the fool. What can I do? Nothing just pack it up. I know one day it will come back their way and my pain will surely fade. Then I'll have nothing more to say to those so-called friendsuntil the day when I'll be able to laugh in their face asking them how it feels to be so betrayed!!
Best of all I won't lower to their level, it won't be me to betray them. I'm better than that, better than them at what is call being a true friend. I won't sink to that level of patheticness, betraying them just to get revenge. I'll just be me and bite my lip and keep smileing, knowing that all along it no longer me that's the fool, the fool is you!
