BADKITTEN's blog: "My Poems"

Peering out, through a frosty window. Watching the snow slowly fall, to the ground. A sea of whiteness, is all that appears to be. Just sitting here thinking, where you are now. Remembering the days, when you and I spent in the snow. Building forts and snow men, chasing each other around in the snow. Laughing and smiling, having a great time. But now I sit here, all alone thinking about those days. When we were going to be, a loving family. Your son is here, a beautiful little boy. Two years of age, with your amazing blue eyes. Now why is it every year, I sit and think about you. This year is the last, you left us, and don't even want us. I have the best of you, and he is sitting right here. I have new, brighter memories to cover yours. My son and I, playing in the snow. So today I'm finally, letting you go. Forever this time, no need dwelling on the past. Me and you are done, and its about time i get on with my life. ( new poem i just recently wrote let me know your thoughts on it...thank you)

I started writing this.. it is unfinished just tell me what you think!! Motherhood... Is not what everyone, thinks it to be. It's not all sunshine and smiles, laughter and rainbows. There are days when you , just want to tear your hair out. Days you just want to break down and cry, Days when you pray, please help me keep going. Days when you wander, if you'll get sleep that night. You give yourself up, and start thinking of him/her. No more late night parties, just late night feedings. No more last minute plans, unless you plan on taking them alone. You find yourself, worrying about the most, simplest of things. Then theres the days, when your little one, when you don't expect it. Laughs, smiles, and says their first word. walks, crawls and feeds themselves. Those days you know, you love you main job of being a MOM!

As i sit here, 

hearing your words,

run through my mind.

Thinking of you, 

wandering what exactly,

you like in me.

One of many questions,

jumps to the front of the line.

What makes me beautiful,

in your eyes?

What makes you stare,

at me with that sexy eye?

What makes me, 

the most perfect one for you?

All those thoughts,

and more cloud my mind.

I look in the mirror,

not seeing what you see.

All i see is a girl,

not sexy, 

out of shape,

single mom,

trying to start a new life.

What is so amazing,

about that?

I wish I could see,

what you see,

see the beauty inside of me!

~ It hurts when someone says they don't love you, but it hurts more when they lie and say they do!

~ A face without freckles, is like a sky without stars!

~ Every girl wants a man, that she can go to in her swearts, her hair mess, makeup running down her face, eyes red from crying and the first thing he says to here is, " Baby your beautiful" and means it.

~ People will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends leave footprints in your heart.

~ When a friend leaves you, don't miss them and cry, but remember them and laugh.

~ Smiles and tears, Giggles and laughs, Late night calls and cuter photographs, I'll be there for you till the day of my death, Best friends forever til my very last breath.

~ The worst thing in life is to lose a friend, a friend that means the world to you, a friend that you put all your trust and faith in, a friend that you believe in from the start, a friend that took the canter of your heart, a friend that you'd die for, a friend that you cherish for a life time, a friend a good friend a best friend.

~ Don't tell me how to pick my friends, I'm good at that remember i picked you.

~ Friendship is a treasure don't throw it away.

~ A friend helps you up when you fall, a best friend laughs and trips you again.

~ You know someone is your True friend when you call them up and tell them," I just killed somebody!" And they reply, "Okay where can we hide the body!"

~ What's Tommy without Chuckie, What's Steve without Blue, What's spongebob without Patrick, Its me without you!

~ We are friends... you fight, I fight...you cry, I cry...you laugh, I laugh...you jump off a bridge, I'll be at the bottom to catch you!

~ Memories last forever, never do they die...Best friends stay together and never say goodbye.

~ Giving time to find yourself thats the true power, In letting you love, finding the right person is the journey!

i wrote this poem when i was pregnant with my son!

 

Baby Blues

Listening to the rain,

Wondering about the pain.

Knowing I'm not ready,

but can't wait to give you,

your first teddy.

Wandering why me,

yet praying to God to help me.

Ashamed to face my family,

Ashamed to look in the mirror,

but so ready to hold you,

when you shed your first tear.

Asking why life is unfair,

but knowing your close

in every prayer.

and yet every part of me is ready,

Ready for you to make me happy.

and I myself am ready,

Ready to Love you,

My sweet baby.

 

** let me know what you think?..thank you! **

My heart wanders back and forth,

between the two of you.

I dont know who to choose,

But there can only be one.

I toss and turn,

with many wandering thoughts.

You both are so very different,

in so many ways.

kind and gently,

sweet and smart.

You both stole a piece,

Of my heart.

I can only choose one,

but who will it be,

The one who will love me.

So i beg to the other..

you must please set me free.

Let me go and if i return it was meant to be.

 

Many come many go,

who may stay,

you will never know.

Lovers say,

forever,

never will I go.

that will never change,

but life shall come and go.

why do I stay,

why do I fight.

For you ,

my heart,

beats twice as hard for you.

And yet i can't explain,

any of it.

So if you must go,

please tell me so.

So I know,

everything you told me was a lie.

But everything i told you,

that came from my heart and you said,

you would always be here for me.

But now i see,

this is the end!

Old red roses, dry and dead,

Wilted petals fall instead,

He once gave to me to keep.

Those days they lagged like lonely sleep,

And now they sit as time has passed,

Alone, without a love at last.

With shadows of out old love cry,

And wilted roses that won't die,

A phone with no one there to call,

I try to forget, but dont at all.

I once left your name to find,

I called it sweet, and good and kind.

But when i found it, it was gone.

You took it back and then moved on.

And so I sit here, cold and blue,

With nothing more for me to do

But sit, with nothing left to say

And throw the roses all away.

My knees start to shake,

when you're in sight.

My mind is fillef with wander,

my heart with fright.

When will this feeling stop?

When did it start?

I'm so confused.

What should i do?

I can't think of anything,

except you.

Should i ignore you,

or just give it time?

I can't think straight,

my heart controls my mind.

Bottled up inside,

are the words I never said,

the feelings that i hide,

the lines you never read.

you can see it in my eyes,

read it on my face:

trapped inside are lies

of the past i can't replace.

with memories that linger-

won't seem to go away

why can't i be happier?

todays a brand- new day.

yesterdays are over,

even though the hurting's not.

nothing lasts forever,

i must cherish what i've got

dont take my love for granted,

for soon it will be gone-

of the love you thought you'd  won,

the hurt i'm feeling now

wont disappear overnight,

but some way, some how,

everything will turn out all right.

no more wishing for the past.

it wasn't meant to be.

it didnt seem to last,

so i have to set him free.