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What are you waiting for?
A lot of people think I sound depressed tonight. I am by no means depressed. I am just deep in thought.
You see, a few days I decided to start researching and trying to make contact with my father's family. My father passed away when I was very young. His family however never approved of him marrying my mother. (Just like my mothers family didn't approve of him) Unfortunately a few years later his mother also passed away. Which left little to no contact with his family.
I grew up only knowing my mothers family. (Except for a little contact around the age of 12 and 18) Don't get me wrong. I love most of the family I know. I regretted when I was 18 that I lost contact with my aunt and uncle that had randomly popped out of the woodwork. At the time I was graduating highschool, working 2 jobs and getting ready to go to college.
Due to the wonders of the Internet and me finally deciding I couldn't fight the urge anymore. I looked them up on MySpace and Facebook. Sure enough like most people they had accounts. Half not expecting an answer and half thinking what if these weren't even the same people? I left my aunt a message saying:
"Not to sound weird but I think you may be my aunt. If I have the wrong person I am sorry for bothering you."
She responded today saying that Yes, she was the right person and was there with my mother and father the night I was born.
I was shocked partly because I didn't expect a response but I also didn't know how to reply. I guess part of me really wasn't ready for the contact.
But, what finally put me deep in thought was some ladies message on my uncles wall on Facebook asking about me and how we were related. The way she wrote it sounded incredibly bitchy.
Am I making the right decision by making contact?
I am one of those people that go for things that I want. I rather have a downfall then be left with the constant nagging feeling of "What if?"
