Animal's blog: "Funny Story"

The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love
to a very attractive young woman.

"You disrespectful pig!" she cried. "How dare you do this to me - a faithful
wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce!"

And Paddy (for it was he) replied "Hang on just a minute luv, so at least I
can tell you what happened."

"Fine, go ahead", she sobbed , "but they'll be the last words you'll say to
me!"

And Paddy began - "Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this
young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and
defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that
she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she
hadn't eaten for three days! So, in my compassion, I brought her home and
warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't
eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight.

The poor thing devoured them in moments. Since she needed a good clean-up I
suggested a shower, and while she was doing that I noticed her clothes were
dirty and full of holes so I threw them away.

Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had
for a few years, but don't use because you say they are too tight. I also
gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't
use because I don't have good taste.

I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't use
just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the
expensive boutique and don't use because someone at work has the same pair."


Here Paddy took a quick breath and continued - "She was so grateful for my
understanding and help and as I walked her to the door she turned to me with
tears in her eyes and said,

"Please ... do yo u have anything else that your wife doesn't use?"