the begining"
In the begining well.... I do not remeber that far back at the moment. What I do know is that I sell cars, and for those of you who have never done that let me tell you it is a trip. I work at a place called JD byrider (any one who has heard of it probably is plotting my death about now hehe ) And I have to talk to some of the most fucked up people during my day. Now for those of you who live in cleveland or the area around there you have probably seen the commercials where we say that for 200 down we can get you in a car. well let me clarify that a bit. If you do not have a job do not bother. I hate it when I have to waste my time with some stupid ghetto ass "Mutha Fucka" (their words not mine) who comes in and says that they want a car. and when I ask how much they have for a down payment the say stupid thing ..1 "well the commercial say 200 down" ok fine lets move on. Then comes stupid question ..2. Do you have any mustangs (or other high end car, and yes I know mustangs are cheap but I think you get the picture.) and I have to sit there and explain to this little moron that if I had a mustang you sure as hell are not getting it for 200 down. in fact for that question alone I should throw you through the fucking window, but I don't instead I move one. And then we get to the funniest part of all. I ask them where they work.... and can you guess the answer I get.... well I will tell you. "I don't work right now but my moms gives me money". yes that is exactly what they say. now I know that most people out there realize that without a job no one is going to sell you shit. and thank you friends at least your IQ is above room temperature (and while I am sure I spelled that wrong I never claimed to be able to spell) So at that point I have to walk into the back and scream or something so that my teeth do not turn around and start eating my brain. And if that is not the worst part of it (and it just well may be) let me backtrack to the commercial again. Now I am sure all of you who are reading this know that SUVs are not the cheapest things in the world. neither to maintain or buy. Now that you have that thought in your head I can continue. I had an argument one day with a woman about an SUV. she came in with 200 dollars and credit that appeared as though she tried to fuck it up. I am not just talking about your normal oops I fucked up bad, I am talking "hey not paying for shit is fun, we should do it more often" bad. And this whore decided that she wanted an SUV and not only should sell her one but be happy that she is allowing me the pleasure of being in her oh so glorious presence. I think the next mistake was mine as I said "Listen Bitch, you have 200 dollars, you need at least a grand to look at the damn SUV, in fact for 200 I may let you look at the fucking tires and if you are nice I will roll down the window and let you have a smell of the interior. (well I did not say that but I was thinking it, which counts) well we did need the thousand down. Now most people would get the point, but oh no not super bitch. She cornered another salesman and lied to him to get the key, then took herself and her ghetto ass 10 kids out to the SUV and sat in the god damned thing and demanded that I take her for a test drive. Well I gave up at that point and said fine lets take a fucking test drive. Now at this point I will pause from the story to explain something. At a used car lot the down payment is not based on the price of a car, it is based off of how much money was put into the car to get it working right. pretty simple right? Well to those of us who can dress themselves in the morning on the first try it is. But not to super bitch. Oh god no. I took over 30 minutes trying to explain this to her. and to put my mood in some sort of context it was about 10 at night and we closed at 9. So fine we get out of there and get back inside. and my boss tells me that we need her current pay stubs (which is a requirement so that we know you are not lying your ass of about how much you make, which at this point I am sure makes sense to all of you) well the ones she gave us where about 6 months old. ok no problem it gives me a reason to get her the hell out of our store. fast foward to the next day. She calls (after swearing never to do business with us) and says she will be in at 7 with all her stuff to get a mini van that she can afford. ok no problem (I know my revenge will be gotten when she sees what she is paying) well I swear she said 7, and I know I am not crazy because other people heard that too. well apparently in super bitch land 7 is really about 8:55 normal time, because that is when she walked her stupid ass into the store (and keep in mind we close at 9) Well this not only pissed me off, it also pissed my boss off, and one firm rule is never piss of the guy who is going to make the decision on whether or not you get a car. So I got to go out and say the words that made me the happiest man on the planet that night. I got to say. listen here maam (read bitch) The only way you are now getting a car from us is if you pay the full price of the car up front, plus and extra grand for making us deal with you. Well she may have cussed me out, but I got the last laugh because if we will not sell you a car, you are pretty low on the fucking food chain. well for those of you that made it this far thank you. and the stories will keep coming although I doubt all of them will be this long lol. or hell if you have a funny story lord know I would love to hear it after a long day of dealing with the world's super bitches
