So today I get off work and check the normal things I check includin this account. I see I got a shout from some dumb ass old broad asking me to go vote for her tatoo. I HATE that. So I click on the shout and see her status is telling somebody top get a life. So I politely tell her that being a 40 somethin y/o woman shouting in random peoples boxes to vote in some assinine contest is a great reason to need to get a life herself. I then go make dinner spend time with the kids ect... When I come back I see she left me like 5 more shouts tryin to insult me (one of them even by calling me a fuck head) and talkin all sorts of trash. I then go to reply and of coarse, I'm blocked. Now I used to handle this by creating a new account gettin my friends and their friends to just totally destroy her night. Which is fun. But I neither have the time nor energy to play imature kids games with someone old enough to be my grandma. Point I guess is growin up sucks.
As many of you know my life has been pretty fucked up this year. I lost my girlfriend who meant the world to me, my life was planned with her. I lost my job. I started taking care of my mom. All and all my mental health has been at just about its lowest in as long as I can remember. I'm depressed, I'm angry, I'm ready to call it quits. but I can't. Not because of my kids, or my mom, or anyone else that has no faith in me anyways, I can't cause its not in my nature. I'm sick of my anger. I'm tired of feeling sorry for myself. I done with other people having any major influence in my life, or how I live it. Do my mom and my kids drive me crazy? yeah. Did Erin really fuck me up when she fucked me over? yeah. Am I going to have a hard time trusting women again? Hell yeah (you all do suck) but I'm done having that control me. So my life hasn't gone to my plan. So fuckin what. I've got my friends. I'm more dedicated to living life than I was last year. I'm goin to have some fun now. New friends, old friends, and a lot of beer. Party's BBQ's concerts lake or river trips I don't care. I'm done. Next month I'm goin to be 30. Huge fuckin party. I'm also enrolled in school. Pinnacle College. Sound engineering. I'm goin to start my career. A little late? yeah, but I'm doin it. I'm off my ass. Anybody doin anythin let me know. I'm down.
A couple of cenuries ago there was a small village of monks. At the center of the village there was a huge golden statue of budah. It was the center peice of their lives. When word got out that there was a tribe of Monguls raging towards their village they knew they had to do something. The monguls were terrorizing villages on a path straight towards them. So everyday that the monguls got closer they would put clay over the budah. Everyday the monguls got closer they would cover up a little more of the gold until finally it appeared to be just a giant clay budah. Eventually the monguls reached the monks small village. When they got there, they terrorized, robbed, raped, pillaged, and burnt the small village to the ground after murdering all the monks. Seeing a giant clay budah, there was no value to it, and it was to much work to tear down or do anything to it so they left it.
Some time ago, I don't know ten twenty fifty years, I'm not sure, a group found the giant clay budah. While resaerching the area they set up camp. One night, one of the resaerchers saw a tiny shimmer coming from the budah. He called the rest of the group over, and they investigated the giant statue. Slowly after weeks of careful work, they chipped, they filed, they dusted untill they revealed the giant golden stucture.
The moral. The golden budah is you, your youth, your inocence, everything good inside of you. The clay is life. All the failed dreams, the women doin the things that women do. The guy who cuts you off in the fast lane, work, school, kids, bills, fear, doubt, and everything else life throws at you. The list goes on and on, and is different for everyone. Now, do you want that clay to consume you, or do you want your golden budah to shine?