1-29-2008
Well here is more on what is going on. Brandon called me
Sunday night to let me know that Davionna was pregnant. But
didnt tell me much of anything else except that Davionna
needed to do an abortion because she can't take care of a baby
which is the truth as she has no job, she is still in school and no
car no driver's license. So I called her and asked her did she
have anything to tell me. Then she told me that she was
pregnant and then she said that it was Jessy's fault and I told
her that it takes 2 and wasn't she taking birth control and she
said no she forgot. And she said her mother was yelling at her.
And I would find out later the reason her Mom was yelling at
her because she was paying for the birth control and she wasn't
taking them. But it does get more interesting. I talked to Vickie
and I called and left a message to Davionna to go to Planned
Parenthood. And she didnt call me back. I told Brandon about
it when he called later yesterday morning. Well he told his
grandmother what I said. And then I get a call from Tammy my
ex she is yelling at me to stay away from the kids and not talk to
her mother which I havent talked to her mother since her mother
was at the viewing for Jayme. And then she said Brandon was
lying about that and I told him what she said and he said he
told her that he told his grandmother what I said And she told
me to not have Roxanne or Deb call Davionna which that is
something I never did. I havent even talked to Tammy since she
was at Jayme's viewing so all of this took me by surprise. And
telling me she didn't like the idea ever that the kids came to see
me or that I talk to them.This has me stressed I have no idea why
this is happening. Called in sick so I can try to relax and get all
of this written out. So I told her to tell that the kids that and she
said no that I had to. So finally to get her off the work phone I
told her I would call them and tell them not to call or come over
which I have no intention of doing. So then she hung up. I
mean Brandon is 21 and Davionna is almost 18 so they can see
anyone they want to and there is nothing she can do about it.
Well Brandon called me a little bit after that and I told him his
Mother called me yelling at me and telling me to tell them not to
call or come over. I wanted him to know exactly what I said so
that when his mother said something he would know what I
said. And he started to ball and I mean ball. He was so upset
and he told me they were in the car cause he was going to help
her to do something and then she started in that the reason all is
wrong in her life is all my fault and all of this is my fault also.
So Brandon defended me and he told her it was her fault and
she was no kind of mother. So then he told me she punched him
in the face and kicked him out of the car. So he had to walk to
where ever it was that he called me from. And he was crying so
much and he said that all he had was me. I was talking to
Vickie about it and she thinks Tammy is jealous of all I have
done for the kids. Where I have paid for some small bills for
them, paid for school clothes and give them money at Christmas
when she doesn't get them anything and this last year if it hadn't
been for me Davionna would not have a cell phone which I pay
the bill or that if it wasn't for me she would not of had school
clothes. And also that I'm there for the kids like she is not. I
mean Brandon came right out one day and told me that he loves
me more then their mother. Which is bad because I just raised
them and I totally believe that they are mine. I'm the only Dad
they know. So we will see where this will all lead to. I will sit
back and wait and see if the kids call me. I have no number for
Brandon so have to wait and see if he calls again. And I will see
if Davionna calls me. I left her a message. What does Tammy
expect she kicked Davionna out at 15 and Davionna has been
bouncing back and forth from her grandmother's and her aunt's
and once back with her mother. She has never really been there
for the kids. Not like I have been. I mean even when they come
over like they do once in a while I give them gas money it is just
20 here and 20 there. Which Brandon don't really want it but
beings I can do it I tell him to take it. And he said Dad you are
the only one that is there for us and the only that cares. I did
make the decision that if Davionna dont call or she runs up the
cell bill I will shut off her cell off and I dont know if that would
be the right thing to do but I will if I have to. And I wonder why
this happens to me and is there something I did to deserve this.
Brandon did tell me one thing and that the brain Doctor told her
not to get pregnant because of the tumor in her head the baby
would end with downs syndrome or be retarded or the pressure
could kill her and I told Brandon what doesn't she care anymore
and Brandon told me that he thinks she doesn't. And I found out
that the reason they dont operate on the tumor is because it is
inside her brain. And if they operate on it, it would kill her. So
they give her medicine to keep it from getting bigger. Everyone
except her Mother is trying to get her to go to planned
parenthood. Brandon told me his grandmother told Davionna
she would have to move out if she had the baby because she
couldn't deal with it. And I know that I can't have her move in
here because I couldn't deal with it either. So it reminds to be
seen what happens. And Brandon also told her that she couldn't
take care of a baby and he brought the money issue and I guess
they said it was always a money issue with him but the he said
what are you going to be on welfare like your mother. Here she
has a business and a husband that dont work and she collects
some type of welfare. And how she does that with a business and
the husband hanging around I have no idea on she can do that.
So it turned out to be a bad last 2 days. So I have no idea where
this will all lead to. I guess just to sit back and see. Well I got a
call from Deb wanting help to finish off the money she got for
Paul's transmission because it went out and I had said if I
could help that I would so she asked in the message if I could
loan her $80 to finish it off so I called and left her a message
that I will and I would be home today. So we will see if she stops
by to get it which is okay with me. And she said she would pay
me back as fast as she could and I dwont be worried about it, it
it is only money. I can't take it with me. I have given money
before $50 to help with cleaning supplies or Paul's apartment
and then I gave him $60 for groceries because I can't see anyone
going hungry. And she said to leave a message and I told her I
din't have cash but that I could write a check. So we will see if
she calls me back. I don't mind and I'm guess that is the good
part of me. I don't mine helping and I can't take it with me.
But only can write a check right now don't have the cash like I
usually do. I can't understand why her husband won't help with
any of it. He makes her pay for a lot and she has to work 2 jobs.
That is so ridicolus. I don't know why I messed that up but I did.
I guess I wasn't ready to be in a relastionship. I feel like I'm relaxing now so this writing in my journal has really helped me like I thought that it would.