PopPop's blog: "BACA (Bikers Against Child Abuse)"

This was just emailed to me from the mother of one of our (BACA) children. THIS IS WHAT IT IS ALL ABOUT!!!!!!!!!! ................... ................... Dear new found friends, I would like to share with you our story and I how we came to become involved with BACA. About a year and half ago when my daughter was 7 years old. She was touched by her father in an inappropriate fashion. This is a something no child should ever have to experience but it seems even worse when it is by someone you love more than anything in the world. My daughter loved her dad in that way. She was very brave. She came to me the following morning after the incident. I felt my world slip away from under me but I could not show that to my daughter I had to listen to her and assure her that she was very brave and did the right thing in coming to tell me and I also assured her that none of this was her fault. I told her how proud I was of her and that she did the right thing in telling me. I confronted my husband and he denied it but after enough of me pushing the subject he somewhat admitted to his crime. He claimed it was not him that he was under the influence of drugs and he did not remember what he did. Anyway my daughter and I left and went out of town and told him not to be in our home when I returned. I did not know what to do. No one tells you about this aspect of life. We went to see my family. It was summer and there was no school so we went away but I did not tell anyone but I did not tell my daughter that this was a secret I just did not know what to do. I was in shock and I was devastated. I was also ashamed even though I did not do this. As a mother you feel shame and guilt. I returned and left my daughter with my mom and he was gone. He worked out of town so I did not have to see him. A couple of weeks passed and my daughter returned and school started and she told her best friend about what her dad did and she told her mom. I am grateful for this. At this point it when the authorities got involved. This is when I was introduced to the Children's Alliance group in Tarrant County and CPS. Going through this is very difficult but I can see why some parents would avoid the system. Yes I admit I made some mistakes but I was made to feel at times like a criminal. I was told to do things not asked but told and I was not told why I had to do certain things or given an explanation. Yes maybe they CPS deals with child abuse on a daily basis and they know what is best but I had no experience in this and I am sure other families feel the same way. We need to be educated why things need to be done in a certain fashion. So the first thing they do is take my child and say they are going to take a video statement of what happened. I was not allowed to be present but no one expained why. I was told by CPS that the reason for the video statement is so that it can be presented in court so that the victim does not have to testify. This is what I was told and what CPS tells most parents. This is a LIE. Your child will have to testify and in front of the perpetrator and will be cross examined and all in an open court. By the way I still don't know what happened to that video recorded statement. I was never allowed to see it as well. Please do not get me wrong the Children Alliance group provided a great service to my daughter and myself with group counseling and individual counseling. They provided gifts and food during the holiday the first year. But this is drawn out process and we no longer had any kind of group support to turn to after a couple of months. We were on our own. And when it comes to this kind of crime it tears families up and ours was no different. We lost our family on my husband's side and so we literally were alone. We went to counseling and got our life back in order but there were times my daughter wanted her daddy and there were times she was scared he would come home and be there. I told her she was safe but I think it would have been nice to have BACA involved from the beginning. No one from Tarrant County, not the police, not CPS , not the DA nor the Children's Alliance ever even mentioned that such a group existed. It saddens me that all the aforementioned groups claim to have the child's best interest at heart and yet failed to inform me about this group who could have been a great support for my child for the past year and some months that we went through with no support from any group what so ever. I think that is an injustice to our children who have been victimized not to be told about this group. My only regret I have about BACA is not knowing about them a year and half ago. This group of wonderful people have brought my child what no one else could- a sense of security and safety. In the short time since my child was introduced to BACA I have seen such a change in her demeanor. I truly believed my child was "fine" before calling BACA but I was so wrong or maybe she was "fine" but she was still not that carefree and happy child before the CSA(child sexual abuse). Yes she was fine. She was okay but something was amiss. I saw what that was the day of her adoption. It was the sparkle in her eyes and the hope in her smile. How can anyone justify knowing about this wonderful group and not tell all victims? Believe me I will tell anyone who listens, anyone who asks me how we got through this and anyone who has a child who has been abused will hear about BACA from me. I told many of the groups that were involved in my case about BACA as well. And I will continue to tell anyone who will listen. How did I come to call BACA? Fortunately a friend of mine from another state had had a similar situation as my daughter. My friend was aware that our case was going to court within days and she asked who would be there in the courtroom for my daughter? Of course I said I would and she said that my daughter needed more support than just me to face her dad in court and to have someone to look at when she was being questioned so she gave me the website link and I read about them and I was impressed, so I emailed the officers in my local chapter and with in minutes I received a call from the president, Jester. That alone showed me that they cared. He asked me some information and I realized in something that he said that he was a truck driver and he stopped on the road somewhere to call me. This total stranger was putting his job on hold to call me to get some information to help my little girl. That is a grand gesture in my eyes. He told me to go to my scheduled meeting with the DA the following day and to get some information and to call him back and he and his officers would set up a day and time to come meet my daughter. The following day I met up with our DA who by the way was great as well. She wanted to show my daughter the courtroom and the set up so she would be somewhat familiar with the setting when she testified. Then she showed me where I would be while my daughter gave her testimony and I was also not aware that I would not be allowed in the courtroom while she testified. I was astonished by this. How do they expect a child who has been victimized by an adult (her father no less) to testify without her mother? I found this deplorable and now I understood the importance my friend tried to pass to me to have a support group there for her. At that moment I was so happy that someone did tell me about BACA because my daughter needed someone there. The DA said we were supposed to go to court the following Monday but she did state that the perpetrator's lawyer was going to ask for a continuance so maybe we would not go to court but she said to be ready. So I called Jester, the BACA president and we scheduled for a meeting in my home on Friday night, the next day. We heard them approach our home Friday night and we met Jester, Ditch, Sandtrap, Doc and Scarlet. They were just so great and nice. My daughter took a liking to them immediately. They talked to her and got to know her and they showed us a DVD of theirs. My daughter was just so impressed with them and immediately felt a friendship for them. They then asked if they could adopt her and explained that she would be their little sister and they would be there to protect her and support her in whatever she needed because she was so brave and their hero. She had heard this plenty from me but it is different when it is from someone that is not your mother and it does make a world of difference. So she agreed to be adopted and she was informed that she needed a road name well after a few minutes of suggestions from everyone they all agreed on "KitKat". She loved it and was smiling from ear to ear and she hugged each member with such emotion it warmed my heart. So it was set. The adoption would take place Sunday afternoon at my home. My new found friends told me what to expect but they could not have prepared me for Sunday enough. The adoption was set for 2pm on Sunday and mind you this IS football season. At 2pm on Sunday I told Kitkat I hear something she and her cousins ran outside and we could hear rumbling but not see anything but like clockwork at 2pm on the dot we saw a couple of bikes and a couple more and a couple more and by the time they all drove up and parked around my street there was over 50 motorcycles and more people than that and please remember this was set up in about one days notice. People came to support Kitkat from as far away as Austin. Jester presented Kitkat with her adoption certifate which by the way she placed in the living room proudly to be displayed for all to see who enter our home. He then presented her with her own leather vest with her Kitkat road name in purple (her favorite color) and some other treasured BACA items that she holds dear to her heart. By the way I cannot describe the happiness she exuded that day. It shined like a summer day from the sun in her smile and the twinkle in her eyes sparkled like diamonds under a bright light. It was magical. One by one each and every member came up to her and presented her with friendship, with support, kind words and many brought her trinkets, pins or patches for her new vest. And all of them brought love and they all made her feel proud and brave for standing up for what is right. After all this they took Kitkat and myself and her cousins out on the bikes a couple of times and it was just the most incredible days of our lives. That complete strangers would drive miles and miles in the cold weather on a Sunday afternoon to show my daughter support for what she was doing. I will forever be grateful for that. We did not go to court on Monday but I was asked to appear on Wednesday and I need not bring Kitkat but as circumstances would have it and I think it was God's will I had to take her with me. Well as we were sitting there waiting to talk to the lawyers we see one of the BACA members, Ditch who had shown up to support me but when he saw Kitkat he made some calls and within minutes a couple more members showed up. They stated more members would have been there had I told them Kitkat would be there but we had enough with the members that showed up. Finally DA comes and takes me out and says they made a counter offer of 5 years vs the 7 years she offered. She said no but came to consult me and we decided a counter of 6 years to get this over and done with. She then explained to me the procedure once he accepted the plea what would happen and that it would all happen very quickly and that at the end of the proceedings either Kitkat or I could make a statement to her dad. He would not be able to respond. I explained to the DA Kitkat would do it because she had to vocalize her feelings about what her dad did to her. She felt strongly about this . I went back and I explained to Kitkat the deal. She was not happy that we accepted a reduced deal but she said she was ready to have her say . She was fine but a couple minutes later we rushed to the restroom. She felt a bit sick to her stomach and she had an anxiety attack while we were in there. She got very pale, cold and clammy and she was near passing out. We walked out and our BACA buddies were there to save the day. They told her to just let it out and she threw up and they did not bat an eye just cleaned off their hand, the floor and Kitkat up and just made her feel better and walked her into the courtroom where by this time her dad was there He pled and got 6 years and then the judge called Kitkat up and she stood in the witness stand and faced her dad and she told him all the wrong and hurt he had done to her. She was AMAZING.I wish we had it recorded it because there was not a dry eye in the room by the time she was finished and she never wavered and kept eye contact with him. The judge looked pretty suprised by her eloquence. When she was done she walked straight into the arms of the BACA members and they escorted her out and she never looked back. She has since called them a couple of times because she felt her dad's presence and just the other day a couple of the members came over with their wives to check up on her and it makes her so happy and she feels safe knowing they are close by and she calls them up at times and I feel we could have had that for the past year a half had any of these agencies referred us or informed us of BACA's existence . Thank you and you have my permission to use my letters, our photos and my testimony to further your cause because it is something I truly believe will help our children. With love and gratitude, Mercy Baeza proud mom of "Kitkat"