As I write this my heart is aching with pain and I think maybe I will never be able to write again. We used to spend every moment together. Now you simply disappear. At first I would get angry. Now I only feel a painful hurt.
Last night I gave you a gift but you did not even take the time to look at it there was a deep burning hurt my heart. Again tonight you said you would be right back and never returned. I can understand once or twice but not every night. I will never let the hurt show on my face. Maybe only a single tear drop falling down my cheek will betray my feelings, give you a glimpse, a shadow, or a trace of my true thoughts.
I want to smile as I look up at the sky. I want to watch the moon brighten the night. I want to watch the clouds pass above making whimsical designs. I want the stars to guide me and I want wings to lift me and let me fly. Right now I suffocate when I try to breathe. These chains you have bound upon me will not release my body.
I am sad because you pursued me relentlessly and told me you wanted me. I am sad because I shared so many personal secrets and fears with you. I am sad that I do not really know you at all. I am sad because I will never know how much meaning our relationship had for you or if we even had a relationship at all. I am sad because I will never know how you really felt about me. I am sad because I cannot remember our last happy moment. I am sad because now I have lost hold of all my dreams.
I sit here and ponder about what will come next. My life seems to have stalled. I do not know when I will be able to trust again. When we first met it only took a second for you to say hello to me. Now I know you left and forgot to say goodbye.
It would be better never to have met you in my dream only to wake and reach for hands that are not there.
