The Invisible Ingredient: My Christmas on Food Stamps
Here at the end of 2007, after nearly two years of focusing on ministering to people in the Entertainment Industry, it seemed appropriate to look back and consider how I got from there to here. I'd like to share some of my thoughts with you.
I can honestly say I have never been more fulfilled in my life. My wife and I are happier than we've ever been, apart from the financial uncertainty of the moment. We have two beautiful children. My three year old son is almost potty trained- Yea! He just has a few accidents now and then. Our precocious daughter is 20 months old, going on 12 years old! She already has a love for new clothes and pretty shoes! For the moment we do have a roof over our heads, although it is pretty frightening every first and fifteenth of the month when the mortgage payments come due. Not to mention the other bills related to being available to help people. I'll mention more about this later.
A while back I made deal with my God. I promised to tell people when He answered prayer and when He did not answer prayer. That way the responsibility is more His, since my doing this Chaplain work is all His idea. So, this is part of that process of telling.
If you had asked me seven years ago if I would be moderately successful in ministering to people in the Entertainment Industry in 12 countries while at the same time I would be on food stamps, I'd have laughed in your face. Still, that's where I have found myself today. There's no point in putting on a fake smile and pretending it isn't real. Sometimes life can be difficult. I know more than a few people in the Industry who are in the same boat. Some have a glorious history representing big name talent, or producing and directing movies and television programs. Many are actors, comedians and musicians. Some are writers on strike.
As a man, it isn't easy to humble yourself and take a long hard look at your life, but that's what I've spent the last four months doing. Making it public? Well, that's part of the telling I mentioned a couple paragraphs back.
"Food stamps for Christmas!" It isn't exactly the present you were expecting, but you do have to eat. It is pretty humbling filling out all the paperwork, sharing your entire financial life with a stranger in a government office, who keeps asking questions with the assumption of catching you in a lie. Humiliating is a good word for it. "Your organization only gives you one paycheck a month?" "This month it was $500?" "How are you going to pay a mortgage that is more than twice that amount?"
As a matter of fact, I spend my time helping other people take a long hard look at their life, so I guess I have to practice what I preach. I haven't done this alone, mind you. I've spend hours crying, praying and soul-searching with my wife, close friends, confidants, fellow ministers and entertainers, who themselves have been where I am right now. I can honestly say that there is no doubt that I'm doing the right thing in offering services to people in this Industry and doing something no one else is doing. All I can do is persevere, trust in God, and believe that He has a reason for this food stamp season. I know the one thing I cannot do is stop. Especially when I know there are some amazing things just around the corner.
Hope.
Hope is what keeps people going. Take a look at people you know who do not have hope and you will find addictions, broken relationships and shattered lives. The Bible says it pretty plainly, "Hope deferred makes the heart sick," according to Proverbs 13:12, "But when it comes, it is a tree of life."
I once heard story teller, Garrison Keillor, say something about actors that went something like this: Actors have more faith than most people. They really believe it when the Bible says, "Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen" (Acts 17:11, in case you wondered where to find it). They have more faith, he said, because as an actor you never know when or where you're going to find your next job, but you have faith that it is going to happen and that keeps you going forward.
I think there is some truth to this. As a person of faith, ministering to people in the Industry, I think it is important for me to have at least as much faith as most of the actors, musicians and models I speak with, don't you?
Another friend of mine always reminds me about Colonel Sanders, who had the recipe for fried chicken that became Kentucky Fried Chicken Restaurants. He really did try to sell his recipe and his idea for chicken and was rejected over 1000 times before succeeding. How many times have you given up already? You know, if most people with a dream of being an entertainer would just give it that little extra effort and not give up, they would really succeed. I've come to the conclusion that I'm just living what I need to live in order to better understand the people God has called me to help.
If you want to see if God is going to provide for me and my family, just watch. I have no doubt. If you think I'm going to pack up my bags and close up shop, you're not reading what I'm saying. Still, there are some obstacles to overcome and doors that only other people can open. Maybe you're the one who can open them? Maybe you're the one whom God is touching right now to pray that the door will be opened. Praying for others is the most important form of "paying it forward." It will only come back to you in blessing.
I was speaking with someone a few weeks ago who simply assumed that people we help automatically give and support what we're doing. He truly believed I had a $100,000 a year salary. I couldn't have reasoned with him if I had tried. He's a great guy and looking at his life, you'd think he really has it all, and he probably does. To be honest, it is all too easy for envy and jealousy to creep in when you look at friends who regularly throw down $10,000 on weekend parties, while you're scraping pennies together to buy diapers for your kids, or walking into a food shelf to stock up on Campbell's soup, mac & cheese, and Hunt's Pasta Sauce. It does often seem that those who give out of their own lives to help others frequently have some hard obstacles to overcome, while some others seem to have it so easy. It is a lie though, because everyone had hard things to get through. There's a great principle that, unfortunately, most people never truly come to understand except through hardship: The more you give, the bigger blessings you get in return.
I am often asked by people how our ministry is supported. Those who are wise want to know where money is coming from and how it is going to be spent. I understand skepticism and caution. Just ask my wife- I'm pretty cautious and don't make rash decisions.
A good friend of mine likes to say, "When you ask people for money, make sure you do it from a position of strength." He wants us to give examples like these and end with an appeal for your financial support:
We have chaplains ministering to people in 12 countries. We have calls from people talking about ending their lives and we talk them out of it and into a good rehab program. We have people calling us all the time asking how they can work with us, because they believe in what we're doing. We have bands who call us up to help work out interpersonal problems when they're on tour. We have crying actors who lost their house, because they overextended and didn't get insurance before the Southern California wild fires came. We have real, recognizable directors who call us asking advice on talking to their drug-addicted child. We have musicians on tour that can't go home for a sister's funeral asking us to call on the family. We have actors on location in the middle of nowhere; unable to get the drugs they've become dependant on and are begging for prayer to make it another day. We've had models crying on the phone over the latest rape they experienced and asking us for the emotional support and counseling they need.
These are all true. These are the real things we are doing, examples of the real lives that are being changed. These are reasons we should continue doing what we do and why you should give.
Having spent my life fund-raising as a "support raise minister" (someone who attempts to convincingly explain to people why they should support what you're doing and then prays in earnest they'll respond), I can tell you that times are harder now than at any other period in my 17 years in ministry. I suppose that's to be expected when you are pioneering something, and truly going where no one has gone before.
By the end of my first nine years of full-time ministry we had approximately $90,000 in donations coming in. The following years we began focusing more on reaching the Entertainment Industry. Giving dropped significantly during this time. This past year there were about $16,000 in donations that came in, at a time when we are doing more to help people than ever before. Most of what came in was given through one of our ministry partners, and can't be directly used for our family's needs, but only for specific ministry-related expenses.
Now, some people might look at the numbers and say, "Well, that isn't being blessed," or, "This is a failure." Others look at the numbers and say, "Praise God! You're doing something that is pleasing God, and the proof is in the financial 'attack' you are experiencing!"
This last was exactly the reaction when I recently shared our financial story on a radio program. The host was quite excited about our financial difficulties, "I am so happy for you," he said after the show, "I kinda miss those exciting days when I was first starting out when you never knew when the financial blessing from God would come, but you knew it would certainly come because you were faithful."
Take a look at the comments left on my profile on MySpace. Those are just a few real examples of people showing their hearts in response to what we do. I wish I could share with you so many more words of encouragement from lives changed.
Recently, a pastor friend shared with me something that gave me insight into God's working.
Isaiah 9:6-7:
"For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counselor, The Mighty God, The Everlasting Father (The Author of Eternal Life), The Prince of Peace. Of the increase of his government and peace there shall be no end, upon the throne of David, and upon his kingdom, to order it, and to establish it with judgment and with justice from henceforth even for ever. The zeal of the LORD of hosts will perform this."
Zeal is defined as: enthusiastic devotion to a cause, ideal, or goal and tireless diligence in its furtherance.
What it spoke to me was this: God has more of an interest in seeing the Vision come to pass than we do. It is His Vision. It is His passion for people to know Him and trust Him. This passion or zeal for helping people in the Entertainment Industry isn't just ours'. He has put in our hearts.
Every time my wife or I see a tabloid splashed with the latest celebrity overdose, arrest or heartbreak, our hearts go out to those people who are hurting and often seem to be navigating their way through life without a compass. Many are in need of someone to come alongside them to help them find their way through the dark times and into the Light of God's love. I just wonder what a difference it would make if these people had someone trustworthy to confide in, pray with, and to seek spiritual counsel from. The need is overwhelming and God has chosen to place it in our hearts to reach out with His message of compassion and truth to those who are in the spotlight yet so often alone and without hope.
There are many people who have told me they are sitting back and watching what God will do in our ministry. My question to them is, "Did God tell you to do this?"
Having people watch and pray for what we do is very important, and asking people to tell their friends and colleagues about what we do is important as well, but so is asking people to consider giving.
God does call people to give.
Did you catch that? It is a good thing to ask people to give!
I'm not afraid, nor ashamed to say this: I'm proud of the work we're doing. God is doing some wonderful things through us, and I think what He is doing through us is worth supporting.
So I am asking, would you seriously consider giving? If you believe, as we do, that people in the Entertainment Industry are in desperate need of God's love, encouragement and prayer, then please pray and ask God how He wants you to participate in this unique and crucial ministry.
One of my confidants suggested I share with you the following, when she said, "Tov, you should consider adding to this letter what your specific needs are so people can know exactly what you need and how they might be able to assist."
Here are specific answers to those questions:
1) What amount do I need to support my family of four living in this very expensive part of the country where we are located until relocation for ministry occurs?
a. $7,000 per month
2) Property/living quarters:
a. My family and I need a home-base in Los Angeles in order to be most available to the very people we help.
b. We need a place in Manhattan we can regularly stay when in town
c. We need a place in London for the same purpose
d. We need property in Montana for our work: Cost: $50-100 Million.
i. We intend to have a hotel sized bed-and-breakfast for Entertainers to come when they are looking for time away from their busy lives. It will be a place for them to recover and refuel spiritually.
ii. We will offer recreational and spiritual activities in summer and winter for Entertainers of all kinds, including sports figures. We will also offer the same to their families and children.
iii. We will also build an Olympic Training Center, for those who want to include spiritual growth as part of their physical routine as they train for competition.
iv. We will build a training center for Chaplains.
3) Travel expenses. We need to be able to travel at a moment's notice:
a. airline tickets
b. rental cars
c. hotel/lodging
d. out of pocket expenses
e. a nanny
4) Seed Money: People ask what this is. It is what investors call "Angel Investment." It is money that people do not expect a financial return on when they give it, but they do expect spiritual return.
a. We need Seed Money in the initial amount of $200,000 for our work specifically for the hiring of additional staff, office rent and utilities, administrative costs and advertising.
b. Followed in six months by an additional $800,000 for more of the same, as we expand our work into Los Angeles, and lay the foundation for expansion and physical presence in New York and London.
Finally, I would be more than happy to discuss these financial items with individuals, or make alternative arrangements for gifts. Most of all, thank you for your prayer and consideration as we continue our work and support of people in the Entertainment Industry.
GIFTS MAY BE SENT TO:
The Entertainment Industry Chaplains
PO Box 211125
Saint Paul, MN 55121
Gifts may also be given via www.PayPal.com using this email address: chaplains@thechaplains.org
May God's richest blessings be yours' in the coming year,
- TOV
Founder, The Entertainment Industry Chaplains
"Faith & The Entertainment Industry Working Together"
Contact Information:
Name: - TOV (Pronounced: like "stove" no "s" no "e")
The Entertainment Industry Chaplains
PO Box 211125
Saint Paul MN 55121
E-MAIL: Chaplains@TheChaplains.org
Los Angeles: 310-574-2895
Manhattan: 917-720-8128
Nashville: 615-673-4159
Saint Paul: 651-686-5600
Fax: 845-698-5600
CORPORATE WEBSITE:
http://www.EntertainmentChaplains.org/
BLOG: http://www.TOVRose.com/
Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tov_rose
SOCIAL NETWORKING:
Official MySpace: http://profile.myspace.com/13422126
Linkedin.com: http://www.linkedin.com/in/chaplaintov
Other Involvements:
Board of Directors, Child Predator Busters: http://www.childpredatorbusters.org
Director, ProVIPS.com: http://www.ProVIPS.com
Featured on Page 1, The Wall Street Journal, August 21,
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