BIRTH ORDER OF CHILDREN
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity
clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes
for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE
your regular clothes.
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Preparing for the birth:
1st baby: You religiously practice your
breathing.
2nd baby: You don't bother . . . because
you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing!
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in
your eighth month.
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The layette :
1st baby: You pre-wash the newborn's
clothes and fold them neatly (color-coordinated) in the baby's little
bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure the
baby clothes are clean, discarding only the ones with the darkest
stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't
they?
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Worrying:
1st baby: At the first sign of distress
-- a whimper, a frown -- you pick the baby up.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her
wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old
how to rewind the mechanical swing.
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Pacifier:
1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the
floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the
floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt
and pop it back into the baby's mouth.
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Diapering:
1st baby: You change your baby's diapers
every hour whether they need it or not.
2nd baby: You change the baby's diaper
every two to three hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change the baby's
diaper before people complain about the smell or you see it sagging to
their knees.
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Activities:
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby
Gymnastics, Baby S wing, Baby Story Hour and . . .
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby
Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the
supermarket and the dry cleaner.
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Going out:
1st baby: The first time you leave your
baby with a sitter, you call home five times!
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the
door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reach ed.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the
sitter to call 'only if she sees blood.'
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At home:
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every
day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of every day
watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking or hitting
the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of
every day hiding from the children.
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Swallowing coins:
1st child: When first child swallows a
coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays!
2nd child: When second child swallows a
coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
3rd child: When third child swallows a
coin, you deduct it from his allowance.
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Pass this on to everyone you know who
has children or KNOWS someone who has had children.
(The older the mother, the funnier this
is!)
GRANDCHILDREN: God's reward for you
allowing your children to live
