Birdy Tieten's blog: "Birdy"

Shattered Dreams Somewhere someone is dreaming of your smile, Ready to walk the entire mile. But instead he lay here head upon the pillow, Looking outside to the large weeping willow, How easy it would be to climb down, he’d say, How easy it would be to run away. He loves this girl with all his heart And thinks to himself we’re not far apart. So he decides to go for a leap to the nearest branch, that’s only a few feet. So into the window he climbs, Just to trip up on the blinds. He manages to take a leap with all his might, But falls short to his fright. He falls to the ground two stories it seems. And there on the ground lye’s a boy with shattered dreams. Punctured by a stake, he shall never wake. And this is the end of this boys life. Never to grow up and have that girl as his wife.

Two women friends had gone for a girl's night out. Both were very faithful and loving wives, however, they had gotten a little over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers. Incredibly drunk and walking home they needed to pee, so they stopped in the cemetery. One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought she would take off her panties and use them. Her friend, however was wearing a rather expensive pair of panties and did not want to ruin them She was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she proceeded to wipe with that. After the girls did their business they proceeded to go home. The next day one of the women's husbands was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over, so he phoned the other husband and said, "These girl nights have got to stop! I'm starting to suspect the worst...my wife came home with no panties!!" That's nothing" said the other husband, "Mine came back with a card stuck to her ass that said 'From all of us at the Fire Station....We'll never forget you.' "