Selections from
www.craigslist.org/about/best/all. It's almost like poetry.
Blonde woman who works for accounting- I know that you are 30, not 25 and I also know that at the Christmas party last year you had sex with the bosses son in the broom closet and that he got you pregnant. Please don’t insult me in front of our coworkers again or I will tell everyone.
My stroma is leaking all over the place.
5) I CAN'T COOK... Every single girl I know says that a guy who can cook is sexy. Well, to be blunt, I cannot cook. At all. I rely heavily on my microwave, pizza delivery, and carry-out places exclusively. The last three times I have tried to use the oven, things have caught on fire. Seriously. And I have never used my stove. Ever. Also, I cannot dance well. I know that has nothing to do with cooking, but both are sexy qualities I do not posess.
I love the fact that you took my birth control pills.
Thus, you cannot woo me, Mr. Security Guard. And please convey the same to Mssrs. Security Guards 2, 3, 4, and so on, and to the minute handful of male, non-security employees to whom this memorandum might be relevant.
Claire Bear - You were very unattractive, but your sister was cute. And yet I chose to sleep with you. A pattern was starting to develop. Sorry if I caused a problem between the two of you. Hope things turned out OK.
SUPER NICE THUMBTACK......ONLY $.07
I am looking for a moderately attractive man between the ages of 18 and 40 who has air conditioning in his bedroom. As the temperature is slated to reach in the 100s this week, my need for a boyfriend with air conditioning is especially pertinent.
Last, but not least, automated air freshener, I really don't like you.
