WARNING!!!
The following words, in the order they are set may cause you think in a way you have never done before which, in turn, may lead your brain to start leaking out of your ears. Do not read this if you are easily confused.
Before the beginning.
Before (Not the beginning)
Before the beginning was nothing and inside this lack of anything was nothing where didn’t dwell the less than slight nothing. During this lack of time nothing never came forward and couldn’t say anything to nothing. This translated into English would be, “I’m bored.”
Nothing didn’t reply, “So am I, let’s do something” Ironically meaning just that.
This was the non-happening-pre-beginning before the beginning began and thus the universe happened, or more aptly, began to happen and then carried on for some time.
“What just happened?” Didn’t say nothing.
“I don’t know, something I think.” Didn’t reply nothing.
“Do we belong here?” Nothing would have asked had nothing been able.
“We never were.” Didn’t say nothing in a momentlessness of silence.
“Shit!” Nothing would have exclaimed had nothing been and been able to before and during going and have gone back to as well as being nothing.
Nothing then took its rightful lack of place in being or being a lack of being just that. From here on in we can assume that nothing doesn’t exist because everywhere is something all-be-it space or vacuum. The only truth is nothing can truly not exist despite the fact it never did (after all, something didn’t start it all). It seems that at this stage of creation it might be nice to make a little banner saying, ‘WELCOME TO THE UNIVERSE’ but by the time anyone gets to read it it would seem a bit post mature. After all before the universe was nothing so the universe must have always been and you, more or less, have always been here.
After a while a god popped into existence and rather taken back it thought, ‘I didn’t expect that but I suppose that was to be expected’. The god instantly realised that full control was bloody unlikely, as the god had no choice in what had just happened. That was the moment ‘time’ was considered to exist despite the fact it had existed for sometime, there was a conscious being to acknowledge it. The universe and everything now followed the second law, that ‘acknowledgement is key to the existence of anything’ despite nothing lacking the ability to create the beginning of everything and there was nothing around to acknowledge that.
Several billion millennia passed by and the god who had called himself Inglesnip (for the soul reason of passing time) had spent quite sometime feeling lonely, then dwelling in the shadow of its eccentricities, before leaping into a rather colourless version of insanity. With all of these new and original thoughts and ideas but no one to share them with existence seemed hard.
In the name of company, Inglesnip decided to create some others like itself, which it called ‘High Exalted’ or ‘HE’ for short. Theses gods would be company for Inglesnip and they would give input towards making the infinite blackness of the universe more interesting. To give life to the ideas that the ‘HE’s’ came up with Inglesnip created some ‘Subordinate High Exalted’ or ‘SHE’ for short. The plan was for a ‘HE’ to pass on the seed of an idea to a ‘SHE’ and the ‘SHE’ would ‘give birth’ to the personification of the afore-said idea. Over the span of a few more billion millennia the blackness of the universe became lit by well-spaced balls of fire, which had large rocks orbiting them for effect. Some of the rocks were decorated with ‘Little Insignificant Foreign Effects’ or ‘LIFE’ and this was only for pure entertainment. These ‘LIFE’s’ were to have an expiry date so they didn’t become monotonous.
Inglesnip had come to realise that between all the grovelling, the praising, asking for forgiveness and droning of songs that are meant to boost its ego they weren’t relating to it. This made Inglesnip feel alone, and the whole reason for the other god’s existence was so that Inglesnip didn’t feel alone. To remedy the problem Inglesnip created a rock where each god would invent and place a type of ‘LIFE’ to go on it. The idea was that as each kind of ‘LIFE’ would exist in harmony the gods would become more harmonious with Inglesnip and accept it as one of the ‘HE’s’.
At the time of the great event when ‘LIFE’s’ would be presented, explained, and placed on a big rock, all the gods participated for it was the decree of their creator. Some created ‘LIFE’s’ with fangs or big teeth, some had claws and wings, some were so massive that none could hurt them, and then there was the ‘LIFE’ created by Bibblechil. No one thought that any of the human models would survive against ‘LIFE’s’ with big teeth, claws, and wings, or any other ‘LIFE’ come to that because they just weren’t well equipped. When asked about his ‘human’s’ design Bibblechil told Inglesnip that the special gift his ‘humans’ had was the power of speech. The other gods, at this stage, made plans to have all other creatures, big or small, against the humans. Humans would from this day receive bites, stings, cuts, infections, poisons, and all manner of unpleasant attacks. Inglesnip asked, “Did you give your ‘humans’ claws or any kind of poisonous defence system?”
“No, oh great one… I did, however, give each of my ‘human’ models opposable digits.” Bibblechil said hopefully.
“And what purpose does that serve?” Inglesnip enquired.
“I just thought it would look good. My beings have at least 25% more digits than other digitalised ‘LIFE’s’. You know that has to make good business sense.” Bibblechil suggested.
“Absolutely.” Inglesnip said with a metaphorical frown for none of the gods had faces with which to perform such a task. The gods were swirly consciousnesses and this was by choice of Inglesnip; he accepted that the universe wanted it to be a swirly consciousness and a swirly consciousness it would be. Inglesnip did wonder though weather Bibblechil came from the shallower end of the infinite universe’s gene pull (assuming of course that there was and is such a thing as a gene pull. There is the theory put forth by ‘Ramioth the Acknowledger’ that suggests the gene pull is more of a gene push.
“Thank you, oh great creator.” Bibblechil said.
“That’s ok, good luck in the game.” Inglesnip told the ‘HE’.
“That’s so kind of you oh super father of us all. Would you like me to sing a song in your praise? I have called them ‘Hymns’ because they were written for the ultimate of all of us ‘HE’s’.
“No! …Thank you. Let’s just get the event underway shall we?” Inglesnip asked.
“But what are you placing on the rock?” One of the other gods asked.
“Ah yes. To engulf both power and meekness I have designed a creature with the tail of the deadly serpent and the upper half of one of Bibblechil’s ‘humans’. I have decreed that they will be called Clachemal and they will be functionary in making sure that the energy on the rock which every ‘LIFE’ needs will be circulated properly. The trick is that the energy is both the defence and the power of my Clachemal.” Inglesnip told the rest.
As usual the other gods were in awe of their creator’s greatness and eye for detail, which pushed Inglesnip further away from the relationship it wanted with its creations. Inglesnip wanted a worshipless relationship so much, it’s not as if Inglesnip couldn’t treat it’s creator as just a peer. Inglesnip decided that the only way to get a real friendship was to find its creator. The first god then went hunting the universe for the universe. Thinking that there must be more than just the one singular infinite universe Inglesnip wanted to find the rest of everything. Believing wholly that there is more to the universe the universe then spawned an infinite amount of dimensions to prove that Inglesnip had the power and nothing else could come close to it. Inglesnip knew that the universe couldn’t help it; it had to go to the top, to the creator of the universe. Inglesnip then set forth on its journey to find the one true creator, the ‘anythinglessness of nothing’ and ‘the none true not being’. Inglesnip had a long time to waste but whether time could keep up with it was yet another problem that would face the god. Infinity beckoned it and it swirled away into it.
