> At last an explanation!!!!!!!!!!
>
> How many times have you woken up in the morning after a hard night of
> drinking and thought 'How did I get home?' As hard as you try, you cannot
> piece together your return journey from the bar to your home.
>
> The answer to this puzzle is that you used a beer scooter. The beer
> scooter
> is a mythical form of transport, owned and leased out to the drunk by
> Bacchus the Roman god of wine. Bacchus has branched out since the decrease
> in the worship of the Roman pantheon and bought a large batch of these
> magical devices. The beer scooter works in the following fashion:
>
> The passenger reaches a certain level of drunkenness and the "slurring
> gland" begins to give off a pheromone. Bacchus or one of his many
> sub-contractors detects the pheromone and sends down a winged beer
> scooter.
>
> The scooter scoops up the passenger and deposits them in their bedroom via
> a
> trans-dimensional portal. It is not cheap to run a beer scooter franchise,
> so a large portion of the passenger's in-pocket cash is taken as payment.
> This generates the second question after a night out 'How did I spend so
> much money?'
>
> Beer scooters have a poor safety record and are thought to be responsible
> for 90% of all UDI (Unidentified Drinking Injuries). An undocumented
> feature
> of the beer scooter is the destruction of time segments during the trip.
>
> The nature of trans-dimensional portals dictates that time will be lost,
> seemingly unaccounted for. This generates the third question after a night
> out 'What happened?'
>
> With good intentions, Bacchus opted for the EMIT (Embarrassing Moments In
> Time) add on, that automatically removes, in descending order, those parts
> in time regretted most. Unfortunately one person's EMIT is not necessarily
> the EMIT of another and quite often lost time is regained over a suitable
> period.
>
> Independent studies have also shown that Beer Goggles cause the scooter's
> navigation system to malfunction thus sending the passenger to the wrong
> bedroom often with horrific consequences. With recent models including a
> GPS, Bacchus made an investment in a scooter drive-thru chain specialising
> in half eaten kebabs and pizza crusts. Another question answered!!
>
> For the family man, beer scooters come equipped with flowers picked from
> other people's garden and Thump-A- Lot Boots. These boots are designed in
> such a way that no matter how quietly you tip-toe, you are sure to wake up
> your other half. Special anti-gravity springs ensure that you bump into
> every wall and the CTSGS (Coffee Table Seeking Guidance System) explains
> the
> ring barked shins.
>
> The final add-in Bacchus saw fit to invest in for some scooters is TAS
> (Tobacco Absorption System). This explains how one person can apparently
> get
> through 260 Marlboro Lights in a single night.
>
> PS: Don't forget the on-board heater which allows you to get home from *
> the bar in sub-zero temperatures wearing just a t-shirt.
>
>
