I want to fly away. Just drift aimlessly to no where or is it everywhere. Feel the wind on my face instead of these tears. Life always seems to get harder, more complicated as the days go by. I thought growin up gets you the right to freedom. But it feels like it gives you the right to NOTHING. my head is pounding , my vision is blurry, my skin is hot , my mind is stuck on auto and i go thru day by day. I wonder if I will ever get off this roller coaster ride. Its not really hell but close to it. I want to vomit. But i know that wont fix anything. I wish I had a spine, yes a back bone. then maybe I wouldnt let so many people walk on me or is it my to big and kind heart that I trust with to many. I feel trapped inside this woman. I dont even know who she is anymore. Why wont she let me out . what is she afraid of ? maybe its just a broken heart that will never heal, maybe she doesnt want it to heal maybe she doenst want to leave this place because she knows happiness can never stay. you are only happy for a time then you get back on the coaster that you cant get off of.
~JRF~
