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mikeymike's blog: "all you can do"

created on 12/18/2006  |  http://fubar.com/all-you-can-do/b35492

life

I sit back and I watch my life pass before my eyes. I've seen so much growin up and experience it myself. I've dealt with so much and took so much. I would try so hard to keep something together knowin in my heart that I don't stand a chance. I always have to much hope and belief that everything will be okay. Know matter how hard I try it seems like my best isn't good enough. They still walk out, slipp away from my finger tips, and just crush my heart. I let people take my kindness for a weakness and I take so much. My heart has been torn in two, cute up, stabbed and lied to so many time. When will all of this stop. When will I be loved again. When will I feel happiness again. When will this hole in my heart be filled in with love. When will I find the love of my life. When will I stop fallin so easy for something that I think is to good to be true. I guess it's true everything that sounds to good to be true, is really true. Why so hard to get. I will never understand it. Why do I want to adore, cherish, love, put all my devotion is a relationship. I want to wipe my slate clean and start all over. I was told everytime your heart get's broken. You grow stronger and you won't let you heart be hurt so easliy. Well I think some of it is true. How can you not give your heart when you really think that the person your really in love with. You think they really love you but then one thing happens your whole entire world feels like it's over. It feels like you don't want to live no more, and don't give a fuck no more. I hate cryin myself to sleep. All I want is to be loved, care bout, and held on tight. They will never let me go. I don't wanna feel harm or pain anymore. I just want to be with them as close as I can be. I want them to know what they do to me. I want to be so in love with them. I want us to get lost in one another. I want them to look me in my eyes and tell me that everything will be okay. I have nothing to worry about or fear. Sometime I get to the point I want to give up and stop tryin. I don't wanna try no more cuz sometimes it's pointless, and useless to try. I put my neck on the line, I'm hangin on a rope, and the I jump to be superman. All it gets me a heart ache, chokin myself, and no one is their to catch me. I know that their will be fight and arguements. It's all part of it and that what makes the heart grow fonder. If you can beat the lil stuff and over come the big things then your relationship will be successful. I believe in miracles and anything can happen if you just give it your all. If you know that you swung for the fence and their nothing be upset about. You wasn't meant to be. Just understand the people that have in our life and love us. They are lended to us by god and god can give it but as well can take it. Also understand that if they don't come back, then it was never meant to be. Sometime you wish you could say everything you want but they are some words that you couldn't say. You have it on the tip of the finger, then it's on the tip of your tongue. The world you didn't say just cause you everything you worked for, it just slips away and now you don't know what to do. Your so lost but no one is around to help you. Your always sittin back wishin if you had one wish to bring everything back. You just want to be givin a second chance. You want to givin another chance to love them like you didn't do the first time. I know nothing is a walk in the park for anyone. You never want to be told good bye and you never want them to go through the other side of the door. Sometime it makes you cry but sometimes the person you love you have to let them go. I'm not afraid to cry, i'm not to afraid to let them out. I know that you bein gone really hurts, but it hurts that I will never know what could of been. I have so much to say but I end up watchin you walkin away. Everything you had in the fight is all gone, nothin left to give. Just know you did all you could and you did your best. It just hurts that everything you wanted, you fought for is all gone. You can never get it back. It's life it come and it goes. You did all you can do.I
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