Here I sit, alone in the dark. No friends to talk to, no woman to love. I look back on happier times, when friends would surround me. But one by one they stabbed my back. Years have passed since friends became enemies, and the one whom I once thought a brother is now my rival. I look back and remember all the laughs we shared, all the anguish we went through. But now its just a memory fading into a dark abyss. The one thing we swore would never come between us is what did us in. A dark and treacherous person that we never saw coming. Its been well over a year since we last spoke, neither wanting to say we were wrong, cuz in our own minds we did what we thought was right. I look back on the day that changed my life forever. The one memory that I wish would fade, but will always be there. So now as I sit here in the dark, all of my happy and joyful memories slip one by one into the dark abyss. No longer will my mind look back and see those wonderful times when I was so carefree and young. Instead my mind sees the broken and bitter memories that have made me into what I am, a sad and broken man. The woman I loved is now set to marry someone who was almost as close as the one I called brother, but instead of feeling hate or resent I feel content, I am truly happy for them and agreed to be a part of their wedding. For I realize now that the love I felt for her was not the love a man feels for a woman, but the love a brother has for a sister. She stepped in when the one I called brother betrayed me. She has been my rock, she has been everything to me that I could ever ask, a friend and a confidant. She helped shed light where there was dark, she helped me in more ways than anyone could imagine. But she never knew my true side, how much pain I felt inside. Then there came another, her name is Samantha, she helped me more than she might ever know. All those happy memories that I thought were lost in the abyss forever, she helped me bring those out. And what amuses me so is the fact that we have honestly only been talking for 2 weeks, yet she seems to know me better than most. So, at one time I looked forward to falling into the abyss myself, but now I am looking towards something much brighter thanks to my 2 friends. Sammie might know how she helped cuz she tends to read my blogs, but my other friend, Ashley, has no idea how much she helped me, and how much I truly love her for that. So come May I will put on the penguin suit I was asked to wear, and I will do it proudly. And I hope as the years come and go that there will always be 2 people that stay constant in my life, Sammie and Ashley. For them, I shall accomplish my dreams and someday I will reveal to Ashley how important she was to my success. And Sammie, I am sure you are either shocked by this blog or in tears because of the things I have said, but you will also know how important you were to my success. So now, with hope in my heart and with diamonds raining down on me, thats an ICP quote by the way, I end this blog. And to any woman who might read this, aside from sammie, I am single, those 2 women I mentioned are just very good friends :) On a side note, half of this was written by me months ago, and I decided to put it up here to show that my perspective on life has changed
