I have been betrayed, but I move on for there is nothing I can do my emotions are all over the place never quite appealing to one way or another. I hold on to my thoughts and try to analyze them only to prove what I have always known that I don't want to be alone. There are so many times in life that you feel alone that to think about them almost seem too much to bear. Life begins in a state of aloneness. I feel I have spent enough time alone how can one not blame me for not wanting to continue this path. Maybe the truth is I have always been alone not in a physical sense, but in a spiritual sense. No that can't be right most religion will tell you that as long as you embrace your chosen savior you are never alone. I feel that I have embraced my savior so why am I still feeling this way I have reached an apex in weeks time I will be 26 years old and I am once again without a counter-part to share my life with if this to be my fate then so be it, if not I will continue to hold on to the hope of finding that special person for me.
I bottled the demon, brought the tears, learned to love, and began to listen. Life is mine and always knew, i found a new reason to be my love and the love she carries will bring to us new life, love, and joy if we could just keep the world out and love unconditional and unsolicitously. The world can all know that it can't tear us apart neither now or ever. If it's not meant it won't but it's not the place of the world to interfere.
Through Jaded Eyes
Through jaded eyes I know only shame; through jaded eyes I only know pain. From that crimson vein this ablated organ tearing from me the misconception. I tried to bleed from life with miry difficulty only ending in crimson tears. My thoughts go drifting with each passing tide leaving me treading through the tenebrous, earthen marsh that appears every time I try to doubt I get brought down to a world when nothing is no longer clear I take back that once crimson, ablated organ nearly desiccated lying at my feet. I kick at it thinking I once knew you as a part of what you were now; you are nothing but a malign quivering piece of superficial waste. My enigmatic conscience is what remains. It shelters the pain lying to itself showing the balance that clears the way so that was not for naught the end is the beginning but it never truly ends the evening sun ends it's path and a new entity is alive. Long. Live. The Hatter!!!
From flesh to ivory, I know not what it is, Hair turns to silk, will I ever know again. These are all i have to look forward to, Oh, but immortality calls out like a great beast to me, What more is there to draw my hand. It calls me deep within my head, How do I escape that which has already consumed me. It gives me options come gently like the good lamb, Or be difficult, but either way it is over for me. My touch grows cold, food no longer gives substance, All that is left is the metallic taste upon my tongue, That leaves me always wanting, always needing more. That rich fluid becomes my life because all that flows through me is..... the ashes.
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