MyLostHeaven71's blog: "A Warrior's Voice"

My Old Friend Again Health falters, Here we go, same old story, my hearts not strong. I won't allow another loss of daughters, this story is one I know, terrifying for me but otherwise boring, is my life worth just a song? I will not cross those waters, I'll stay and clear away the snow, I'll make your grave like floral flooring, But where you are I cannoy go! So dear sister, in the black halter, help me I don't know? Can you guarentee my mooring? Will this illness be seen as show? My old friend again, lets do our dance. It is just the nature, is it just our way? -Sandy Jackson Feb.7 2009

My dad is visiting, it is the first I have seen him since his heart attack in Feb. I can't believe I gave him CPR and thanks to his neighbor and me he is alive. So, for our commbined strength to survive amazingly negative odds this one is for him... My Dad and Me By:Heaven My Dad colors inside the lines, smiling as he watches me create my own. My Dad always orders sweet tea with extra lemon... LOTS!!! I never order the same thing twice. My Dad comes with his own sound track, you can follow every ache and pain. Tell me? Do you know if I hurt? Where? That is just some of how we are our own souls. Now, when it comes to beating odds no one should, could you do it? I know we could! My Dad and I have time and time and time again. Will you sacrifice what you love for a little time? We have and we don't look back. What would be the point? New things await he warrior who gives up something small for something big. Like to live. What could you take? Facing your greatest fear again and again? My dad does. I'm proud of him for that because he fears so much. Me? I do what I must. I will always do what I can, no, what I must to live. My dad and me will keep on keeping on... I hope you all will too. Like every warrior should. (sorry so rough-first thing written since my surgery poetry style and I'm not at my best...I'll work on it I promise)

Okay, well, last you heard from me things were getting interesting. I will keep this short but fill in or answer any questions... I just got home, today from the hospital. My pacer crapped out almost a week ago and my 2nd device saved my life by taking over. Just not as well. So I had major surgery that they don't even call an operation on Monday. They have me down to one device/combo now and my wiring is very differant and safer. I just wish the trip to the or had gone better and my heart had stayed at full capacity the whole time. This, my friends is called a 'slip' and that means I will be easily tired and weak for a long while. But lets all gather for a celebratorty party this weekend at The Magical Gaarden and try to celebrated that once again I did it...I hurt and am a bit wooooooooooh right now but I made it so far and although the woods I'm not out of are a 2 week trek I have you all to help curb my boredom. I see my meds have me ramble when I typr too...Interesting. Time for my PT. Goodnight, Heaven

Okay, no poem for now, sorry. Just an update. i have not been around because I am miserably bedridden because my pacemaker is draining too fast and I am to reserve as much energy as I can. Which litterally means doing nada, nothing, zilch. Or I will find myself a visitor of the Cleveland Clinic hospital for a couple of weeks until my device is changed out, possibly wired to a hospital pacemaker. Fret not, my davice will be change in exactly two weeks. Yep, Aug 4th is my surgery date. So, just be patient, dear friends, is I am not around much. It is not that I don't want to be. It is because I can't be...For now. Always a fan to you all, Heaven

Perhaps the celebration of life is the warriors most important moment. It is good times that helps us call reserves of strength through memories of what we fight for and why... Musical Notation By:Heaven Lyric drama is my fate, to dance with Nature becomes a must. The wind picks up a dancing leaf, calling to my inner vixen. Autumn colors add the spice, volcanic, fiery, and exuberante. Uninhibited I become lost in the musical notation. Music is my passion, nature? Well, Milton said it best, "Trip it as we go, on the light fantastic toe." Dance with me when Gaia beckons.

To love is the key elememnt to survival. It is for love that we can accomplish the impossible and even the improbable. So this is from my inner warrior to all of you... All Are Loved I am small, but I am feirce. My strength lies in my will. Tenacity was born in my desire, to live, to love, and to fullfill each day, each breath, as if all I did had a ripple effect. Kind words and smiles can arm me, with the grace and style, I choose as my weapons. To spread the word. That we are all. And ALL are loved! -Heaven

Okay, small note, dear friends, this is part three of my Learning to Dance poems. You all have already seen the last poem among the first blogs I ever posted. I found this one late last night and think that part of being a strong warrior is acceptance of what lies ahead, someday... Learning to Dance: The Summerland There is a place that I await, and yes, it waits for me. When time stands still and my death is near, so begins my journey, to the Summerland. I've learned to Dance, I've tangoed the Will and the Way. With every Mosh, from every Pit, I've finally found my way. So, be it now, or be it years, The Summerland awaits... And when I go, you will know, for you'll hear me sing as I dance away! -Heaven