ShadowPixie's blog: "A Story"

I was asked "Why do you do what you do girl?"
Oddly I looked at the person asking and asked them "Why do I do what boy?"
He gives me that, I'm not happy you just called me that I'm a Master! to which as always I just smile sweetly a smirking evil smile. Again the question "Why do you do what you do?"
To which my chin lifts with pride, eyes shine with a dark light in them as full lips curl into a sadistically sweet smile showing sharp points, back straightens from where I kneel on my pillow, as he said when I did it, the picture of slavery in motion. "Because I am who I am, the secret in the shadows. I am there when I am needed, or wanted. I am there to see when those that have a piece of my shattered heart are in need of me. I am who I am, the girl held in a crystalline prison able to reach through the darkness to touch those needing that touch to ease their pain or claw to make it worse if they fuck with what is mine."
That look of male superioriety "But you are a girl, a slave how can you say anything is yours?"
The smile never faltering, back straight as ever, eyes just as deadly and dark. "What is mine is mine, because I am theirs. An equal exchange for my undying love and loyalty and friendship. So yes, it is mine, for the pieces of my heart, my submission, or my dominance is just that MINE to give or take from whom I wish to give or take it from."
A strong hand moving back to slap my face just to move and grab the collar caressing my throat when I do not flinch, staring back at him pulling me up closer to him "What makes you think you can do that, how will you ever give yourself completely to someone if you give what is not truly yours to give like that?"
Body rising to the strong hand, but not moving, not trembling just lifted "And who should choose what parts of me to give and not give, when that is who I am, that is what I do, that is what has brought them...even You to me?"
The look of anger in his eyes as I do not show fear as his strength, do not cower as his questions, remaining as I am before pushing me away almost harshly turning to put his bulky form into his chair. Once more moving onto my knees poised as before. "Then you are not worth the time of a Master, because you can never give yourself completely to just one."
A soft laugh as this always tickles me, comes from those lips just moments before this were being kissed. "Is that what you truly believe or what you assume as you have for the past many years. Are you waiting for me to fall prey to your strength, to your whims and say I am yours, completely, utterly, yours and no one elses?"
He looks with that same look that always fall on his dark brow when he is unsure of how to take me, keep me, make me as he is told I should be. "But that is not me, and you always say you want me. The girl in that crystalline prison, who's hand rests upon the head of the dragon wrapping around her body protecting her from the world. If I stop that then I am no longer me and that is less than what you want not because I give a piece of what is was made for another to them."
Exasperated, a look of tiredness and longing filling him once more as he slumps back and once more just looks at from me then away. "Yes, a song and dance going now for almost to many years. You are stubborn, strong willed, and yet time after time I return, and yet...." He looks once more to me.
Keeps smiling softly, "And yet you say that I am not enough without those pieces, feeling you are not enough, and strike ME for it and walk away once your reserve of my attentions is full until you can not find what I give you elsewhere and that stored up feeling is depleted. So the dance begins again. The tempo changes ever so with the experiences having taking it's toll on each of us." Folding hands on thighs watching him questioningly. "So in truth this should be... why do you do what you do? Why do you return and feel so empty when away, yet so angered when close? What is it that keeps you from completely turning and not returning after trying to tear me down to make you feel better?"
He watches as he has so many times before. "Because I love you and one day you will break when I tear you down to build you back up in the mold I want you."
A laugh thunders from those lips as head falls back showing the lines of my throat, dark hair cascading along straight back before lowering looking at him once more. "You know that is not true, I will not break to be molded like a cookie. You do not want a mold or you'd have been happy with the others and never return to me. You love me as I love you, but you have not grown beyond what you are told should be the perfect one at your side. I will not stop being what I am, who I am, and loving whom I see fit. The question is not that I can not give myself completely to one, it is that you can not fathom how I can love so many and yet love you so entirely and feel it to your soul. I surely can not love each person that deeply individually. Because you may not be able to, understand it, and know what you feel, see, and know is truth, you run as many do. But you come back as others do, because I do, I can. A shadow can fill every spot it touches until the light shines and yet, it is still there in the light under your clothes in your body, holding everywhere it has touched... And it scares you. So here we are once again at the end of this dance until the next one."
He does not move, does not speak as he usually does not at this time at the end of each dance. Rising I do not move to him, the pillow left close to his chair as it always stays from the day it was placed. Three heartbeats almost heard as we two just look at each other before with small steps back into the shadows, the only sound fading with the last beat of the heart, the sound of silver bells as he finally whispers, "I love you", just before closing his eyes almost not bearing to see as I fully disappear.
A light rush of air almost visible caressing his face, her sweet scent in it's wake as the my own words echo back to him. "Always and forever"