Mystic's blog: "Scarey thought!!!"

I have taken time these last few weeks to really think about my life where its going, where i have been... 

I got a slap of reality not to long ago, i found out the people in my life, well wheren't really my friends.  For what ever their reasons they decided to do what they did to me hmm i will never know or care to know.( yes SD you can say you told me LOL i guess i should of listened)

I do know i have learned a great deal how this world works, everyone is out for their own personal gain, they dont care what they have to do to get what they want, who they pretend to be whether your best friend or even a lover.. As long as they are gaining something they will do, say,or be who ever you want them to be, just as long as in the end they have broken you down, killed your spirit and taken what ever ounce of life you have in you.  They leave with a smile knowing what they have done and yet somehow come out looking like the victim and getting all the pity and turning everyone around them agianst the person they just ripped apart..   Yeah it hurts for a while to realize who your friends actually are or not in this case.. But I wont let it kill me ... I learned from this, and never agian will i trust the ones around me like i have in the past.  I will not be used or befriended by people that are only looking out for themselves... If it means no friends well then so be it... I dont have time for all these games i have lost alot and need to pick up from this and well maybe think of myself for once... I spend so much time doing for others, being there when they need me or going out of my way to make them happy.. I forgot about me. Maybe if i spent a little more time on me and my life ... all these lifes little surprises wont really matter anymore...  I just know i need to be here for me cuz well actual events have shown noone else is... its a cruel world... and everyday i get stronger in it :)