TastefulAngel's blog: "A RANDOM RANT"

1. A snowflake is one of nature's most fragile things,but just look what many of them can do when they stick together. 2.If all your dreams don't come true,don't fret; all your nightmares don't,either. 3.Don't be a carbon copy of someone else; make your own impression. 4. Don't let your welcome mat lie. 5. The best gift we can bestow upon others is a good example. 6. For mending someone's broken heart,the best glue is compassion 7. If you aren't wearing a smile,you're only half dressed. 8. Remember,today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.- Dale Carnegie 9. The trouble with some people in trying times is that they stop trying. 10. Actions speak louder than bumper stickers. 11.If you don't like the way life looks,change the way you look at life. 12.Nobody has ever measured how much the heart can hold. 13.The world is full of cactus,but we don't have to sit on it. 14. An arguement is a head-on collision of two trains of thought. 15. When your conscience hurts,be glad;God's warning system is working. 16. Joy shared is joy doubled;sorrow shared is sorrow halved. 17.True honor is acquired by nothing but good conduct. 18. The eye sees only what the mind is prepared to comprehend. 19.Small deeds done are better than great deeds planned. 20. In family squabbles,truce is better than friction. 21. People all wrapped up in themselves sometimes find that they make pretty small packages. 22. The quickest way to lift our living level is to lift our giving level. 23. God can heal a broken heart,but we have to give him all the pieces. 24. Worry is like a rocking chair;it gives you something to do but doesn't get you anywhere. 25. Someone who is afraid of asking is afraid of learning. 26. Memory is the mother of all wisdom. 27. Giving your best today is a good recipe for a much finer world tomorrow. 28. Swallowing any words is a lot easier than having to eat them. 29. You are on the road to success when you realize failure is only a detour. 30. Sorrow looks back,worry looks around and faith looks up. 31. A good disposition is the sunshine of the soul. 32. If at first you don't succeed,read the instructions. 33. Vacation in the winter,when there's really something to get away from. 34. Although no one can go back and make a brand new start,anyone can start from now and make a brand-new ending. 35. Talking comes from nature;silence comes from wisdom. 36. Laughter is the shortest distance between two people. 37. Being right at the wrong time is one sure way to get into trouble.

We started to 'bud' in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find that anything that came in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurt so bad it brought us to tears. So came the ridiculously uncomfortable training bra contraption that the boys in school would snap until we had calluses on our backs. This is a Trip! It's real! .. Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along with those budding boobs, we bloated, we cramped, we got the hormone crankies, had to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had. .. Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) was having sex for the first time which was about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils (IF he did it right and didn't end up with his little cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about. .. Then it was off to Motherhood where we learned to live on dry crackers and water for a few months so we didn't spend the entire day leaning over Brother John. Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learned to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if we were preparing to have Rosemary's Baby. .. Our once flat bellies looked like we swallowed a watermelon whole and we pee'd our pants every time we sneezed. Whe n the big moment arrived, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions invariably burst right in the middle of the mall and we had to waddle, with our big cartoon feet, moaning in pain all the way to the ER. .. Then it was huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, 'Please stop screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar. Calm down and push. Just one more good push (more like 10), warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the %*!* (and hubby) square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10 lb. bowling ball through a keyhole. .. After that, it was time to raise those angel s only to find that when all that 'cute' wears off, the beautiful little darlings morphed into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines. .... Then come their 'Teen Years.' Need I say more? .. When the kids are almost grown, we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our early 40's - while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday. .._ So we progress into the grand finale: 'The Menopause ,' the Grandmother of all womanhood. It's either take HRT and chance cancer in those now seasoned 'buds' or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a hog in July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off anything that moves. .. Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men, when men get off so easy, INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee in the woods without soaking their socks... .. So, while I love being a woman, 'Womanhood' would make the Great Gandhi a tad crabby. Women are the 'weaker sex'? Yeah right. Bite me.

1. There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and Shithead's. 2. The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content.. 3. I live in my own little world but it's OK, everyone knows me here. 4. I saw a rather large woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, "Thyroid problem?" 5. I don't do drugs 'cause I find I get the same effect just by standing up really fast. 6. A sign In a Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea." 7. Money can't buy happiness but it sure makes misery easier to live with. 8. I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner. 9. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal"? 10. I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected. 11. The most precious thing we have is life, yet it has absolutely no trade-in value. 12. If life deals you lemons, make lemonade.? If life deals you tomatoes, make Bloody Marys. 13. I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. 14. Shopping tip: You can get shoes for a buck at bowling alleys. 15. I am a nobody; nobody is perfect, and therefore I am perfect. 16. Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive. 17. That Claudia Schiffer must be a genius because I told a friend my plan to attain world peace, and he told me I have "Schiffer Brains." 18. No one ever says, "It's only a game!" when their team is winning. 19. Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes and lottery tickets, are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well? 20. How long a minute is, depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on. 21. Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool? 22. Marriage changes passion... suddenly you're in bed with a relative. 23. Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked? 24. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled. 25. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been.?

This is how us mountain folks git her done. Redneck Man's pick up lines 1) Did you fart? cuz you blew me away. 2) Are yer parents retarded? cuz ya sure are special. 3) My Love fer you is like diarrhea . I can't hold it in. 4) Do you have a library card? cuz I'd like to sign you out. 5) Is there a mirror in yer pants? cuz I can see myself in em. 6) If you was a tree I were a Squirrel, I'd store my nuts in yer hole. 7) You might not be the best lookin girl here, but beauty's only a light switch away. 8) Man - "Fat Penguin!" Woman - "WHAT?" Man - "I just wanted to say something that would break the ice." 9) I know I'm not no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make yer bed-rock. 10) I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went inta this cheap motel room. 11) Yer eyes are as blue as window cleaner. 12) If yer gunna regret this in the mornin, we kin sleep til afternoon. And.... the best for last!....... 13) Yer face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up

Ok...... I am snowed in, in the coal fields of Wv. And have been bored all. So I decided to look at the past. I dont mean "Main" History I mean my past. I started out on the more recent things. Like friends and relationships that just want heywire. Wondering why in the heck did I ever think that these people would last in my life. Looking at an X-husband who still thinks I am in tlove with him if I happen to see him and his current wife out in public. There is a reason for him being my X... mainly if you start a fight I will surely finish it for you and give an attitide adjustment to go along with it. AKA I will never be abused again! Then these fair weather friends... or the loosers who like to hang around when you have somwthing to offer!!! WTF If I have it yes i share... but if you need it I will help. And to take advantage of that will also make you shallow and lonely. So basicly I was just wondering where did those people go? I mean ther call everyday for months, and when you say no too many times... they are done. So where did they go? I am looking for them so I can "cash-in" my favor..... So Oh WELL..... I guess that is why they say "Dont worry about the people in your past...there is a reason they did not make it to your future."