TJ Brat's blog: "A quiet little story.....about him....and the fence..."

I woke up this morning and the ground was covered with a beautiful soft blanket of snow.....still falling....and as the morning light brightened....and I saw the fluffy fat flakes fall silently..I thought of you..and wondered...what you were doing at that moment. When I went to the bus stop...it was cold...but not bitter...and snow fell softly around me...lightly...brushing my face like a whisper...the trees and their endless branches...fluffy soft flakes...clinging....making the whole world look magical....again I thought of you. The tiny flakes drifted across my eyelashes and made me blink...and smile..and i looked around and wondered.....how can something be this beautiful...this peaceful...and no one seems to notice? I watched cars drive by....people rushing to work...kids leaving for school....everyone going about their day...and all I could do is stand there quietly and watch the world wake up and the snow drift down...and let it tickle my face. As i walked back up the driveway...watching 3 squirrels chase each other around and up and down a tree trunk....in my minds' eye...i saw a huge meadow...almost a pasture....with this long....lonely fence weaving around as far as i could see...I thought maybe there would be horses around...so I looked....and saw nothing but openness. The peace drew me over to the fence....and I wanted to soak it up...feel it...breathe it in....still...I saw nothing. I decided to just..."Be" and hooked my arms over the top railing...and rested my chin on my hands....and saw a shape in the distance..it appeared to be a man...and he was walking towards the fence. I wasn't sure if he noticed me..I wasn't sure I wanted him to see me standing there...watching and feeling, but I waited...I didn't move...I just watched him...walking towards me. When he was close enough for me to make out his features...I saw him notice me standing there....he was too far away for me to read his expression....but he appeared to hope that I wouldn't leave before he crossed the distance to that fence line. As he neared...and I could see his face clearly...I smiled..because I recognized him...and felt happy to just be near him....he paused tho..and just looked at me....then he slowly smiled...and the whole world seemed to come alive. It was as if...he'd cast a magical spell on me and everything around him. I continued to watch him...be mesmerized by him,,,intrigued even....and I wanted him to come closer. I felt longing for him...even tho I didn't know him. I felt connected to him by a force that I couldn't even explain. He simply stood there...not moving. His intensity...unnerved me a little....and I had to get closer to see him...I looked to my left and right...searching in vain for a gate...or even a small opening in that fence that I could get thru to the other side....I found none.
When I looked back at him....he was moving away from the fence...and kept looking over his shoulder. I called out to him...but I don't think he heard me. Slowly...he went back to whatever it was he was doing...and I felt empty without his presence. I went back to that fence everyday...and waited...hoping he'd come closer....just so I could feel him near me...and he came everyday...some days he ventured closer...other days...I watched him work in the field..and was content just to "be"...I often clung to the fence...and wanted so badly to be able to climb over...but I was afraid...and I didn't want to trespass...or scare him away. Sometimes..I'd leave little notes for him to find...and when he would smile the next time he saw me...I had enormous hope. Today...I decided...to be brave...so when he came close enough ...I smiled and asked ...if he happened to know where the gate was in this fence? he grinned and shook his head....and said...I'm not even sure myself....he seemed a little shy...so I smiled and said....maybe someday we could look for it together? He nodded...and went back across that field...and I watched....longing for him to come back to me.
 
.....She arrived at the fence line early this morning...her faced turned up towards the sky..watching the grey winter clouds with patches of pale grey...hanging like a drab cold blanket....wearing her soft, leather, well - broken -in boots....they fit like she'd worn them her whole life...her worn, comfy jeans, her warm snugly sweater that made her feel like she was wrapped in a fuzzy blanket..and her fur lined vest. She felt soft and feminine and pretty. Taking her time...across the previous field...she stopped to watch a hawk fly overhead.....watched in awe as the wind currents caught his wings and let him float and hang...almost suspended in the air. She knew he was hunting..and thought about the small animal that would soon meet it's demise. She'd seen hawks with their prey before...it wasn't always pretty..but yet....certain in life...everything had it's end. Peripherally she saw movement and noticed a small herd of deer picking their way thru the trees...scrounging for food...on the bare winter land, wishing for moments she could feed them well, but knowing that was silly. Watching them lift their attentive eyes to her...watching, waiting...hop jumping away...startled..perhaps frightened but then stopping...to once again graze quietly.
Eyeing the fence again...she felt the urge to run to it...and wait and hope....but purposely walked slowly.....wondering if the man she saw there everyday....ever wanted to rush there himself...smiling to herself....inwardly hoping. Toeing some clumps of winter weeds with her boot....she lost herself in thought as she wandered closer to that fence...asking herself silently....what was it about this place that drew her....this mysterious man...that she felt compelled to go to...to see him..to be near him? Why was he there..where did he come from ...and when he left.. where did he go? Was he out there...for the same reason she was? Did he question it too...did he wonder about her...this odd woman showing up on his fence line everyday....the woman that stared and smiled....and seemed content to just watch him. Was he drawn there as well...to that magical place..to her perhaps? Smiling inwardly again...feeling light and hope fill her very being.....she decided yes...maybe he was. 
Walking closer to the fence...she noticed the long worn rails...and wondered how long it had been there...caressed and beaten and smoothed by thousands of rains...snows and sunny hot days....she let her fingers caress the surface....careful not to press to hard....and get a splinter. It felt timeless...old and weary...yet strong....capable...sturdy...smooth and somehow soft. Her eyes traveling as far as she could see clearly....the weaving wobbly line....the deep set posts....she knew it would stay...for many more winters. Scanning the field beyond, she wished he would appear...but it was early...sometimes she could sense him coming...and would look up instinctively as he approached..it made her grin and feel giddy inside..and then he was there...walking so silently she nearly gasped...he was closer than she realized...and he was watching her....smiling even... she noticed as he got closer. Her whole body awakened...and her smile of delight was unmistakable! Briefly raising a hand in greeting....she felt almost paralyzed by him....unmoving...she felt the her pulse quicken and her heart beat faster...she clung to the sheer excitement of the feeling..and leaned into the railing for support. She always felt eager to be as close as possible...and today he came nearer....and her heart leaped. Surprise and desire for this man to be close....pulsed thru her veins....telling her to wait.....but to be open for whatever came...she listened...and found herself holding her breath until her head felt light and dizzy and she slowly exhaled...a small grin flashing across her lips.His expression said he noticed her grin..and he stepped closer still...they watched each other silently...their eyes taking each other in. He was all male...beautiful to her...his eyes intoxicating....his lips full ...he looked...tired...but not from lack of sleep...more like a weary traveller....needing to rest...needing to find safe haven. She saw wariness in his eyes....and she looked deeper...and what she saw...was a man...that seemed as lost as she was. This gave her hope...that maybe...their paths were crossing for a reason...maybe...it was just one of those inexplicable things...and she had to just feel it..live it...enjoy it. Suddenly she felt shy and looked down at the ground....mostly so he wouldn't see her blushing..she couldn't stop from smiling...and didn't want to hide herself from him...she wanted him to see...really see her..so she forced herself to raise her eyes and face to him.....and found him smiling ....somewhat shyly himself....but his smile made his whole face change..and in that instant..she knew.. she had to KNOW this man. 
She HAD to know him, learn about him, listen to him...know his hopes and dreams and fears..BE with him. She wanted to know everything about him...every detail. Wanted so badly to touch him...take in his scent...feel his skin under her fingertips....his lips on hers...his hair in her fingers...hear his voice whispering to her....skittering across those soft sensitive spots on her neck. Unconsciously she leaned forward on the railing....trying to in her own way to get closer to him. He surprised her again by stepping even closer..and grinning this time....his eyes dancing with mischief...and it made her giggle. She waited patiently to see what he would do..neither of them speaking a word...just watching each other...their eyes connecting....staring...locked on each other...and neither could look away. He smiled softly and took more steps..and kept coming until he was at the fence with her.....and she watched intently...as his hands lifted and came to rest right next to hers on that old worn railing. He was close enough to smell....and it smelled like heaven...clean and masculine and strong...and she almost sighed out loud. The curve of his mouth was tipped up in the most gorgeous grin she'd ever seen....and her hand reached out and softly ran her fingers over his cheek....watching his eyes...almost unaware that she had reached to touch him...her hand almost acting independent of her mind....and suddenly realizing what she was doing she pulled her hand back..and marveled at the heat and sensations that snaked up her fingers and hand and into her forearm. Was this man real or some illusion...some dream raging out of control in her head. She stared in disbelief at him....wondering if she was imagining him until his hand slid over hers still resting on the railing....and her breath caught. Whispering so softly....almost to herself she asked...are you really here? His voice....low and sexy....slid over her like warm honey....melting her insides.....as he gently whispered....yes I am....are you?...she smiled shyly and nodded. He chuckled at her shyness...making her legs feel shaky..and she focused on his hand touching hers...felt the warmth....basked in the thought...the idea that he was this close. She stared at his hand...and hers under it....and wanted so much more. She imagined his hands caressing her skin...causing soft sighs...and little whimpering moans...his fingers tantalizing and teasing her until her body surrendered to him....her eyes darted to his mouth...and hers went dry at the thought of that mouth touching her in any way. Her mind raced quickly and zipped from thought to visual thought.....she could almost feel his breath on her face....his lips feathering light kisses across her cheek..her forehead..her temples...brushing gently against her mouth until she was salivating and her tummy doing flip flops...her mind jumped to his hand and him stroking her exposed skin...tracing his fingers around her face...those capable hands cupping her face when he leaned in to taste her mouth. She knew instinctively it was written all over her face..her thoughts plain and exposed and she blushed under the heat of his gaze...felt his thumb stroke across her hand...watched his eyes turn dark...and heard the lowest sexiest almost inaudible groan escape his throat.. he tugged at her hand and pulled her closer....and leaned so close to her face she shivered. Her body pressed against the fence...his movements quick and sure...his hand laced around her face and around the edge of her neck into her hairline and leaned forward and captured her mouth so softly with his...that her whole body quivered. His taste..his scent..his touch all mingling together..dancing around her head..her senses filling with all of him....she reached for him..had to touch..had to feel..wanted him so close. His lips settled against hers in the sweetest of kisses...his mouth enchanting her...as his fingers slid into her hair ..another low moan from his throat and she nearly came undone. She tried to relax but her mind was screaming..her tummy in knots....the way he touched her...his kiss grew more needy and his tongue slid across the crease of her mouth wanting entrance to her....his hands in her hair...she melted into him and let go....parted her lips and ran her tongue against his....like wet silk...the combination of taste and feel was heady and overwhelming. She heard herself sigh and moan at the same time...letting him know she didn't want him to stop. Her hands slid around his neck..pulling him tighter....her fingers threading thru his hair...across his cheeks...trying to get closer to him...her mind went blank and she was lost in him. Deepening the kiss he seemed to sense her need....and groaned when she boldly sucked softly at his tongue...mimicking the thrusting motions of lovemaking....her blood heated..and tight hot coils of need curled deep in her core......she knew she was wet and slippery with longing and desire and lust for this man...but a deeper need too. It was a feeling like....they had always known each other...this attraction...this draw...this melding of souls...kindred spirits maybe....it was instant and strong. The facets of need and want grew...their mouths melded together so perfectly....it was like coming home.