luciousl's blog: "Love is Patient With a Life"

I am the eldest of 12 and since my father has died I have found 3 other siblings never met. I was so excited till I find like all the rest there is no time for me I live 4 maybe five hours from the new ones found And 4000 miles from the ones I grew up with. The new ones speak with my family 4000 miles away and not me either I tried but had no success as I try to talk with them ,they also speak to my family in alberta and then I just sit and watch them on cam with no conversation. I say If your busy we can talk another time. They say No hun we don't want you to go. But still No talk then cam is shut off andI finally said Good Night For a reply of yeah hun u 2 :( Also My brother was to call me I had a translator here all day and No call. I am closer yet thier status says can't wait to meet you all and if I find a job Im moving to Calgary. Or Im a redneck woman Calgary here I come Nothing of meetin me and plans were for them to come meet me This week now thats changed We are all on same msn and since my sisters have joined my msn who I grew up with all my life have been on NOT 1 of them try to talk But on here they do send Love you's and miss you's Well I believe there is more to showing love then sayin it on one page of internet Not 1 phone call OOps I take that back I have had 1 sister call for my birthdays however that has also stopped I found out through an email my father was sick and then had to call to find out the bad news Tell me is this love or even a family I don't believe so . To me Love is shown and not just 3 simple words typed So today I am feelin like an only child and if I had done something to deserve this treatment I don't know what it is I didn't even want to go back for my own fathers funeral Not into fake or phony Love So I died the day my father did I feel Tell me am I wrong or right in feelin like I do Since 1999 I have spoke with my family maybe 6 times Thats not Love no one calls and if it is cause too expensive Then remember MSN is free. I don't call cause why should I be the only one I love my family very much but don't feel like I exist unless something drastic happens and then emails tell me.My daughters mother in law new of my father and I didn't HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOO thats not right either Now you all moght be mad or not like this But this is how I feel after you read this I will be gone from here Take care and Love you I really do I have raised my children to not only say I love you but show it no matter if they agree or don't agree with the others life's choices they are family and must show it as well as say it and through the miles they are separated I believe they do For that Im proud