It is confusing to have five different identities and fortunately I am not Schizophrenic. Now it seems that a friend’s request from an Indian Sikh has been lodged but he does not realise that he is already a friend on Slap and Tickle, well more an acquaintance whose paths crossed wires in Goa in February. Well, I phoned him from a pokey ISD booth and unfortunately it was a Sunday so the call woke him up. This put him at a disadvantage and he was lost for words. I am not normally at a loss but what do you say to a total stranger who incidentally gave me his mobile number and asked me to ring, when he does not speak to you.
Then he wanted me to visit him but if you knew how big India was then logistically it was a no no right from the beginning. Goa is on the West Coast on the Arabian Sea and the Punjab is a long way up in the middle of the sub continent.
Bless him, he did give me airports and instructions but as I was busy sorting the book out there was not much spare time.
Goodness, if you ever go to India, make sure it is not when Diwali is being celebrated, that is if you cherish your tranquility. Firecrackers going off all through the day and into the wee small hours of the morning. Thank heavens for MP3 players. At least I managed to get sleep whilst staying in Kolhapur because they seemed to be having what is called a BIG DIWALI the night we stayed there. These firecrackers are worse than those that the Chinese manufacture and because the Indians as a race love noise so it is second nature for them. I was told that a hotel can have 20 English tourists in and it is like a morgue but it takes just two Indians in the same hotel to make it sound like the building is full. This was told by a Goan lady so it is no word of a lie.
It was a long day because to travel anywhere in India after the rainy season means hitting the weather beaten track which once was a road but have seen the light it became converted into a cart track.
In Kolhapur we got rid of the wedding party at 11.30pm and that was not being a party pooper. We sat on the bed and it vibrated from the rhythm of the beat from the conference room. It was bad enough to put up with the smell of camphor all the time we were in the room but to suffer a vibrating bed would have been most disconcerting. They had the last word or dance though because they moved out into the carpark and turned their radios on then reconvened their Bollywood Rock out there. This went on until late and I had the window open because of the camphor smell. There was a lovely breeze which was more than can be said for Goa where the rainy season seemed to have stretched on into winter. That night it rained a little but this did not put the dampers on the wedding party or the Diwali Firecracker bangers. I did get some sleep but everyone else looked well hung over at breakfast. This was not due to the alcohol because it was an alcohol free hotel and we had forgotten to put some in the overnight bag.
That is another thing Maharashtra is also a pretty dry state as well as being predominantly vegetarian and the hotel was a Hindu one so there was no hot water in the evening. It seems they have hot water in the morning and if we wanted some hot then the boys would bring it up to the room in a bucket. No way, so we did a strip wash and waited for a shower in the morning. This was not fun due to spending the day travelling. Another thing about Kolhapur is never eat curry when you have a sore throat. It burned every part of my mouth on the way down and everyone said it was not hot. However the following day brought a heated confirmation that Kolhapur chillies are the hottest in India so a sprinkle goes a long way. I love curry but tasty hot and not uncomfortably burning hot.
The printer was an obliging young man and promised to alter the header footer discrepancies and bring the copy around the following day. He did this and Tyrone, the illustrator, went off with him to find some slippers. They came back and were disappointed that they did not fit me. Indians have tiny feet and those with European antecedants are inclined to be large. We had some food which was not inspiring and went shopping. It was strange being the centre of attention because there are not many Europeans in Mahrastra and we stuck out like sore thumbs. Well I did because I love wearing bright clothes when in India. It is something you cannot do in England because of the strange looks you get when everyone else is wearing navy blue, black or anything other than bright colours.
We bundled into this shoe shop and after much struggle a pair was found which fitted. They are the most comfortable shoes I have had and they were well used. These are called Kolhapur slippers and are designed for heavy duty use because of the terrain there. I was concerned they would be ruined walking around Calangute because there is no footpath there in Goa. The slippers were handstitched and made of leather. The soles looked like they were made of wood but were just hard leather. I did get two pairs and the second ones are like your granddad wears on the beach. Well, they were men’s shoes but they did except they filled with sand at the toe end and it was like walking along in lead weights.
Having gone back to the hotel to pick up the bags we said farewell to the gentleman who served as both guard and car park attendant. He spent his day with a whistle in his mouth helping drivers park their cars and the spoke no English. He was a nice man and sign language goes a long way when you have a book and pen to draw things. It was nice talking to him because he appreciated it as he probably does not get to talk to many English tourists or Indian ones come to that. There were many Indian tourists there too because they had returned home or were on holiday for Diwali. We said our farewells and drove to find a restaurant with food in. This was Tandoor and the food there was exquisite, hot but tasty and I enjoyed every morsel holding everyone up because I ate it all.
We called in at a nursery on the way back to Goa and it was out of this world. It seemed strange taking photos at a nursery but we don’t get such exotic plants in England. The soil in Maharashtra is either red or black both of which are fertile and following the rain, very mucky. At the border crossing, the climate changed and from being nice and cool, it became hot and sticky which was noticeable in the crooks of the arms. India is a strange state; the soil changes dramatically in each state and the people look different from state to state. There are different shaped faces and different intensities of skin colour from coffee brown, dusky brown to jet-black. Well, you would never get bored by the constant change.
When we arrived back at our hotel we were given strange looks because we had not been there for 24 hours, we had bags and no one knew what had happened to us. It was early when we left the day before so the security guard was the only one to notice our departure. Anyway, we explained about visiting the printer and that the book would be here in a couple of days. They saw a proof when we were there in April so knew about it. We were told that the celebrations in Goa the previous evening had been washed out due to the torrential rain. It was not so bad in Kolhapur, just strong drizzle. However, they had their bonfires doused by the torrent and even the guys gave up the ghost and decided not to burn. After that, it became quieter with only Little Diwali celebrated. However, it was still heaving with Indian tourists as well as the ever-increasing quantities of foreign tourists as the season was getting into full swing. We found it difficult getting along the roads due to the lack of pavements, no shortage of pedestrians and an even larger quantity of taxis. It seems that everyone who was once anyone now drove a taxi for a living and that was a pain but that is another story.
As for the book, well it arrived, or should I say they arrived and then we had the worry of how to get them home. As the holiday was young I did not want to think about it so after the business was out of the way the pleasure began and decadence descended. Hummmm, well February is not far off now so at least I can dream of things passed and things to come.
I wish to close the chapter on this part of my life and move on to better times. If the cosmos is kind this coming year then it should be a real cracker to beat any Diwali celebration. To coin a phrase, it would be wonderful to have an enlightened year and progress from the writers block that has clouded the judgement over the last six months.
