Cast of characters:
Todd Sherman -- Given a gift by Megan. Not sure what it is.
Jerry Layton -- Todd's best friend. Never liked Megan. Jerry has a big crush on Elizabeth.
Elizabeth Sherman -- Todd's older sister. Friends with Megan.
Megan Rawlins -- Todd's ex-girlfriend. Gives him a gift shortly after breaking up with him.
Rick Tremayne -- Megan's new boyfriend.
EXT: A SHOPPING MALL. A SUNNY DAY.
INT: TODD AND JERRY WALKING THROUGH THE MALL.
JERRY: . . . and anyway, you're moving soon, right? Good riddance to her. You'll get to start over, fresh.
TODD: Fresh. . . Yeah. Like a daisy.
JERRY: C'mon, Todd. She was no good for you, anyway. She had eyes for everyone but you. Everybody knew it.
TODD: Yeah, but Rick? She leaves me for Rick. . ? The guy's a pile of laundry on legs.
JERRY: I agree. I agree. I bumped into him at the gym once. He kinda' smells like a wet towel. But that's not the point here, my friend. . . The point is. . .
TODD: Hmph. "Rick." How much do you suppose he can lift, anyway?
JERRY: The point is. . .
TODD: I knew all that "really big muscles are a big turnoff" stuff was a bunch of bullshit. . .
JERRY: The point. . .
TODD: "Oooooooh!! Lift me up over your head again, Rick!
Todd could never do that. . ."
JERRY: The point is: she was killing you. And you didn't see it. Look at yourself. Would you rather have her move to Michigan with you and dump you there?
TODD: No, Jerry. That's not what I would rather.
JERRY: See? Exactly what I. . .
TODD: What I would "rather" is that she moved with me, never dumped me at all, and then years later I'd send you a Christmas card with a family photo and a note that says, "Up yours, Jerry. She's perfect." That's what I would rather.
JERRY: Whoa. I'm just sayin'. . .
TODD: Yeah, yeah. You're just sayin'. . . Y'know, I used to proofread Rick's papers in college. . .
JERRY: Yeah?
TODD: Uh huh. He always mixed up "your" and "you're." And I saw tons of "should of" instead of "should have."
JERRY: What about "to," "too," and "two. . ?"
TODD: He was okay with that, actually. It was weird. . . Pfft. "Rick."
JERRY: Where are we meeting your sister?
TODD: She said to meet her in the food court.
INT: THE FOOD COURT IN THE MALL. ELIZABETH AND MEGAN SITTING DOWN AT LUNCH.
LIZ: You're gonna' eat all of that? That thing is huge. . .
MEGAN: Oh, please, Liz. It's a salad. It's mostly vegetables, which are mostly water. . .
LIZ: . . . and with all that dressing? Do you know how much fat is in that? It totally negates the healthiness of the salad.
MEGAN: I'm not doing the "food nazi" thing with you, Liz. I just want to have lunch, okay? Besides, look at your sandwich.
LIZ: What? This? It's a no-fat turkey, Megan. Like Jerrod? It's fine.
MEGAN: Hmph. Sure.
THEY EAT SILENTLY FOR A FEW MOMENTS.
LIZ: Sooooooo. . . I, um. . . I asked Todd to meet us here.
MEGAN: What!? Is that who just called you?
LIZ: I'm sorry. I know, I know. I'm sorry.
MEGAN: Why would you do that? You know I don't want to see him. It's all weird between us, right now. He still needs some adjustment time.
LIZ: Well, he has to buy some new suits for work. He always wants a woman's opinion for that. You know he has no fashion sense.
MEGAN: Yes, Elizabeth. I am aware of your brother's deficiency when it comes to picking out clothes. However, I am not that insensitive that I would invite him along on an outing with his ex- and her new boyfriend.
LIZ: I didn't think it would be a big deal.
MEGAN: Did you tell him that Rick was. . .
TODD AND JERRY ARRIVE AT THE TABLE. TODD LOOKS AT MEGAN.
LIZ: Hi, guys!! Megan, look, it's Jerry and Todd.
TODD: Hey.
MEGAN: Hi. . .
JERRY: Not awkward. No, not awkward at all. . .
LIZ: Ummm. . . We're just having some lunch. Why don't you guys sit with us?
TODD: Actually, we can come back later.
MEGAN: No, no. You guys stay. I can move.
MEGAN STANDS UP TO MOVE.
LIZ: Megan, you don't. . .
JERRY: I think she's made up her mind, Liz.
MEGAN: Really. It's okay. I just have to find. . .
RICK ARRIVES AT THE TABLE. MEGAN BUMPS INTO HIM AND HIS TRAY SPILLS ONTO TODD.
TODD: Better and better. . .
RICK: Oh, shit. I'm sorry, man. Let me get some napkins or something. (Exits)
TODD: Napkins. . . Yeah, thanks. . .
MEGAN (to Rick): Thanks, hon.
MEGAN SEES JERRY STARING AT HER.
MEGAN (to Jerry): What. . ?
JERRY: Is that your actual butt? Or did an airbag go off when you bumped into him?
MEGAN: Whatever, Jerry. Say. . . Any luck getting your insurance to cover that "male enhancement" operation?
LIZ (to everyone): C'mon, guys. . .
MEGAN (walking off): Great idea, Liz.
JERRY (shouts at Megan): It’s a very common procedure!!
TODD: Did you know they were gonna' be here?
LIZ (shrugs): We were just having lunch. . .
RICK ARRIVES BACK AT THE TABLE WITH A HANDFUL OF NAPKINS.
RICK: Here ya' go. Sorry, Todd. Really.
TODD: It's fine. No problem. Thanks.
RICK: Well. . . I gotta' get back to Megan. . . I'll see you guys later, I guess. (Exits)
LIZ (to Jerry): "Male enhancement. . ?"
JERRY (grins at Liz): That was gonna' be your Christmas present, sweetheart.
LIZ (to Todd): I keep telling you to get better friends.
END SCENE.
