Like deep black soot that covers all,
Enveloping each crevice that it touches
With a smothering adhesive grip,
Your gaze sweeps over me.
My jovial mood screeches to a halt.
The laughter and merriment
Snuffed out so abruptly
I can’t find my breath.
I shiver slightly in the sweltering heat,
Painfully aware of the large hand that skims my thigh,
Claiming territory from long ago.
You knew it was wrong, misused by men just like you.
Scenes from my youth
Play against my closed eyelids like a nicotine rush.
I choke on them, as I did on you.
With age, height, threats, you convinced a child
Never tell, never feel, internalize everything.
I’m old enough to stand up.
With a cool gaze I dismiss myself,
Go back to the gathering
Where like you, no one sees my soot-stained heart.
