A DAMN FINE EXPLANATION
The wife came home from work early and found her husband in their bedroom
making love to a very attractive young woman.
Understandably, she was somewhat upset. "You are a disrespectful pig!" she cried.
"How dare you do this to me - a faithful wife, the mother of
your children! I'm leaving you.
I want a divorce straight away!"
Her husband replied, "Hang on just a minute luv, I can explain what happened."
"You can try", she sobbed, "but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!"
And the husband began - "Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a lift.
She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car.
I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty.
She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days!
So, in my compassion, I brought her home
and warmed up the soup I made for you last night, the soup that you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight.
The poor thing devoured three bowls in moments.
Since she needed a good clean-up I
suggested a shower, and while she was doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away.
Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeansthat you have had for a few years, but don't use because you say they
are too tight.
I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary
present, which you don't use because I don't have good taste.
I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't use just to
annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't use because someone at work has the same pair."
Then he took a quick breath and pressed on - "She was so grateful for my
understanding and help and as I walked her to the door she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, "Please ... Do you have anything
else that your wife doesn't use?"
