Here some jokes i've read

#1
A guy goes into a bar with his pet octopus, sets him up on the bar and says "I bet anyone in here 50 bucks that my octopus can play any musical instrument you hand him.

One guy walks up with a guitar and says, "You're on." He lays his 50 bucks on the bar and hands over the guitar. The octopus proceeds to tune the strings and begins to play a wonderful classical rendition. Everyone's aghast! The guy collects his 50 bucks.

Next guy brings up a trumpet and lays his money on the bar. The octopus takes it, plays with the valves for a moment, and proceeds to play a wonderful jazz riff. The guy collects his money again.

The bartender leaves and comes back a few minutes later with a set of bagpipes and lays his 50 bucks on the bar. The octopus picks it up, turns it around, looks at it some more, turns it over again to get a different perspective. After a few minutes of this the guy is getting impatient and asks, "What are you waiting for? Why don't you start playing it?"

The octopus looks over and says, "Play it? Hell I was trying to figure out how to get her pajamas off!!"

#2