for those of you who actually read this....




i sit here wondering how peacful it is to be dead
watching all these kids
laugh and play
tell there secrets and there lies
hold there hands and kiss
while i sit and slowly wish i wud die
walk outside and every1 runs
hatred and disgust vibrates off them
they curse and trow things at me
call me a freak
but they dont know
they think that there parents saying no to a new pruse is devestating
they dont know what pain is
they dont know about my nightmares
or feelings
they dont know how it is to cry yourself to sleep every night.. wake up in pain..... have dreams of you being raped and torn appart in every direction
they think a little but smaking hurts
how about haveing 5 people beating you bloody....
fuken disgusts me
men refer to there women as bitches and whores.....
they dont even love them
they dont even know what they really want
in the end every 1 is sad
we all wish we could die....
but its thata little hair of hope.... that keeps us going
we hide from every1
fake our happyness
so they leave us be
but only others who feel our pain
will ever understand










my name is shadow im a wierd person but cool to know im very random and add so if i forget to talk to you its cus somethign stupid caught my attention people say im emo i dont look emo all to much but i act it alot i kinda get hurt easily i dislike the way i look alot and i hate the fact that i have a big ass -.- but thats ok i guess... i hate people who feel the need to put others down to make themselves feel beter




LIKES:


Darkness


bi emo skaters ** HOTT**


Vampires


Kissing&Cuddling.^_^


the dark spirits around me



my poems for all to read:
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First time we met i thought
wow shes so perfect,
her beauty ravished me
every time our eyes met
i melted inside
every time i wanted to say somthing
nothing came out
i watched her
through waht felt like a window
with roses on the outside
wishing i could say what i wanted to say
time passed on,
we took our seperate paths,
hers for the best,
mine for the worst,
i hated myself for not saying a word
i feared the rejection,
the rejection of failure
time passed and i gave up all hopes
one day i was blessed with her presence once more,
her beauty was even beter then before
it consumed me, my mind raced,
my heart allmost exploded
she said hi
i couldnt say a word yet again
and yet again i lost my chance to talk
love,
love consumes us all,
how it consumes us dictates who we are.
there was a saying,
beauty killed the beast,
i find this saying true,
for when i see her,
i feel happy and complete,
if only i had told her how i felt
maybe ... maybe life could of been different
we will never know


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im tired of this pain
waking up to screams
falling asleep in pools of tears
daily bases of pain and misery
nothing feels happy or fine
just the remorse of failure and deciet
im never good enough for anyone
nothing is ever right im allways wrong
people make fun of me call me the freak or loser....
aside for my will to live what did i lose
there abusive hands and laughs
they beat apon what isnt theres to beat
they seak pain to make themselves feel beter
if only i could show them my life my pain
how would they react? suicide?? no
i wouldn't let them
i would put them in a dark room w/ no way of ending the pain
leave them there then maybe
they will finaly see
what is only a fraction of what i feel
i walk around with this fake ass mask
hoping no one will see under it
my search for peace is aborted
for the peace is inexistant
i sit here in my dark room looking out at the rain
and i know... this is how i will be
till the day i die
why try in life when you alrdy know your going to die
why even continue living
is it the false hope that it might change?
or are you just incapable of the final blow?
what ever it is
the pain will allways be there


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Pain cutting through my veins like never before.
Aching for something I can never have.
Never touch,
out of my reach,
"Like a dove,"
never meant to be caught.
Slithering through my blood.
Biting at the one thing I never wanted.
The one thing you took from me.
Razor going through the gentleness of my skin.
Showing you what you did to me in the end.
Leaving these scars for you to see.
What more did you want from me?
I have you everything.
My heart,
my love,
and you gave me my blood.
Nothings the same anymore,
I'm bleeding,
not succeeding!
Hating everything I do since I've tried to stop loving you.
Don't play with my mind.
Insane to love you all those times.
You left me with nothing but these scars.
Pain cutting through my veins like nothing before.


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sit here wondering how peacful it is to be dead
watching all these kids
laugh and play
tell there secrets and there lies
hold there hands and kiss
while i sit and slowly wish i wud die
walk outside and every1 runs
hatred and disgust vibrates off them
they curse and trow things at me
call me a freak
but they dont know
they think that there parents saying no to a new purse is devestating
they dont know what pain is
they dont know about my nightmares
or feelings
they dont know how it is to cry yourself to sleep every night.. wake up in pain..... have dreams of you being raped and torn appart in every direction
they think a little but smaking hurts
how about haveing 5 people beating you bloody....
fuken disgusts me
men refer to there women as bitches and whores.....
they dont even love them
they dont even know what they really want
in the end every 1 is sad
we all wish we could die....
but its thata little hair of hope.... that keeps us going
we hide from every1
fake our happyness
so they leave us be
but only others who feel our pain
will ever understand


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You told me that you loved me, you told me that you always will. Then one
night as I sit home waiting for you to call I heard that you didn't want me
and that you went out with your old boyfriend. As I heard this the tears
just wouldn't stop falling. Then you called me and I asked you about and you started to yell at me. As you yelled I could feel my heart break into. To me it was so perfect to me it was going fine, i never thought i'd lose you i thought you'd always be mine. How come i never noticed, how come i couldn't see, that you were changing your mind the way you felt about me. We could of worked it out, we could of talked it through but you left it so long there was only one thing you could do. You tried to tell me nicely, you asked me if i'd cry but my heart just tore apart as i let out a sigh. We hugged for the last time, and i didn't wanna let go but i finally pulled away as i told myself no! i held i n my tears i began to walk away, when people asked what happened i had nothing else to say, except "ï wanna be alone, and i don't wanna talk" so i went around the corner, and went for a little walk. i decided to sit down as i felt my eyes go red i gazed at the floor in my hands i held my head. The tears poured down my face as i asked myself why,why did it happen why did she lie. I didn't wanna believe it yet i knew it was so true that we were definatly over that you and i were through I still can't believe you expected me to guess when i had no idea i was totally clueless


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If you loved me, you'd be there for me
To help me do the things I want to do.
My whole life wouldn't be only for you,
Nor would my love determine who you'd be.

I want you to respect what I do well,
To share the joy I feel when I succeed,
To give me the encouragement I need,
To be my wings, not my protective shell.

I love you, and I want you to be mine,
But I would never say you're not allowed
To be a person who would make me proud,
To step outside into your own sunshine.

So I did it
I slit my wrists
I took my life
And found I'm missed
I glance back down
On life thats now
Everything is different
I shall tell you how
My parents cried
I'm suprised thay care
To see them like this
I cannot bare
My sister is down
And my friends are mad
Who would of known
That they would be so sad
My home is silent
A penny has fell
My family has truely
Gone through Hell
My friends gone weird
There is something new
I hear no laughs
Not even a few
I see my grave
Fresh flowers around
Little notes
Scatter the ground
So now I wish
To take it back
To be alive
Back on the track
But It's finished
I am but dead
I miss those words
That no-one said


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Dont think I do not feel
because you see no tears
A river rages deep inside
of grief, and loss, and fears


Just because I do not cry now
dont think my hearts not broken
I keep inside the misery
of words not to be spoken

Sometimes I smile, or crack a joke
so you wont see the pain
or notice how my hands will shake
or how Ive gone insane

Each time I chance to think of her
my heart is ripped asunder
The loss I feel is mine alone
you will not see my thunder


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as i lay awake

covered in severed pain

life as we know slowly dies

mourning for his lost love

cannot feel happyness

death and pain take place

peace and serenity are inexistant

suicide is in mind

hatred fills the wound

peoples words hurt so

the society has condemed him

life continues to diminish

dreams start to die

love has died

the people he trusted sell him out

his famly disowns him

sees his faithful knife

calls upon it to settle the debt

sees the bottle of alcohol

drowns his sorrows

feels that he is ready to make one last standout

as his last act

he kills himself

his pain is givin to all the people who caused this

slowly presses his key to peace against him

slowly watches the pain pour out

slowly beings to smile

pain dies

life dies

serenitity comes

happyness comes

peace comes...

his dark pain consumes every thing and everyone

people see what they have done...

they finaly got what they wanted and yet they finaly care

its to late

the damage is done

they killed me

and now there sorry

they wished for me dead

and so i give them my death

but now they cry

wishing for me back

they see how it is without me

no one to be there for them

all they can do is cry

and say there sorry

for killing me

but they dont mean it

no one does

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