Video Games
Passion Preludes: The Big Picture of Me
Carl is not necessarily a prude or a “saint,” but the overall answer patterns suggest that Carl is probably very cautious about to whom and under what circumstances to surrender to romantic urges. People in this category may be inherently careful and skeptical by nature, may have been deeply hurt or had a negative sexual experience in the past, or may just prefer taking things slowly in making someone’s acquaintance or in getting involved in a relationship. In wooing such individuals, you may find that it takes them a while to “warm up” to you, though this should not be misinterpreted as disinterest. Sexually speaking, they may not appear easily aroused, despite being totally titillated, with many quite adept at subduing their response until you’ve gained their trust. Once their guard is down, you will find the rewards great, with these individuals often wildly uninhibited and receptive.
What Makes This Type So Attractive? Not to be mistaken for an erotophobe (one who is fearful of sexual intimacy) or sex negative, the low seduceability sort captures the interests of many who are into the following…
• Partners who haven’t established sexual preferences. Whether conservative, shy, rigid, and/or introverted, when coaxed out of their shell, these individuals may decide that you are their lucky guide in introducing them to a wide variety of sex play.
• Playing hard-to-get. Though perhaps not done intentionally, this type can keep woo’ers at arm’s length, ultimately luring those who like to chase and the achievement of having been crowned the “lucky one.” The ultimate reward for such physical and emotional partner selectivity is the stronger shot at a long-term, monogamous relationship.
• Mystery. At times a “hard nut to crack,” this sort can be intriguing in slowly revealing themselves, making everything worth so much more when they do so.
Tips for Tempting This Type:
Carl is probably grounded and realistic, and quite good at sniffing out insincerity and ulterior motives. So… Don’t play games or even bother trying to manipulate this person for a mere sexual encounter. Do be upfront, direct, and completely honest with this person – you’ve few chances to impress someone like this.
Carl may be relatively naïve – a “clean slate” for romantic and sexual experiences. So… Don’t be sexually explicit. Do take on the role of teacher, introducing this individual to life’s sensual pleasures outside of the bedroom first.
Carl may often like to set the pace for seduction and involvement, sexual and otherwise. So… Don’t come on too strong, too fast. Do show class, patience, reasonable amount of self-disclosure or they’ll show you the door.
Bottom Line: It’s important not to play games with this person, So make sure that you’re consistent in what you say and do online and offline. At the same time, don’t be afraid to flirt with this type – and by this I mean mostly projecting good energy and letting them know that you find them attractive.
Step 1: How to Approach Me!
A person’s “approach” to Carl lays the foundation for Steps 2 and 3 of seduction. Three elements help define an overall “approach:”
• What kind of flirt you are (Flirting Style)
• How you pace your interactions (Pace)
• Your dating attitude (Creativity and Sense of Humor)
Let’s explore the elements of an “approach” that are likely to get Carl to notice you.
Know My Favorite Flirting Styles
Online dating involves a wide range of possible online flirting behaviors. Men and women prefer many of the same flirting strategies, but those strategies are often weighted slightly differently between the sexes. The Plenty of Fish Seduction Survey reveals these hidden trends as well as some new, inside information on how to present yourself as you’re using these flirting tactics. Let the game of seduction begin.
Men’s Top Ten Favorite Ways to Have Someone Flirt with Them
1. Displays concern for him, his feelings and well being
2. Talks about things he likes or dislikes, making comments and showing interest
3. Shows him your a daring or mischievous side
4. Sends him special/cute email messages
5. Shares jokes or amusing anecdotes with him
6. Compliments him on his screen name, attitude, personality and appearance
7. Makes an effort to contact him in some form most every day
8. Sends instant messages when he and you are online at the same time
9. Discusses seriously the traits he desires in a partner
10. Uses suggestive language in online conversations with him
Flirting Styles that TURN ME ON
1. Playful and natural (someone who lets the inner child shine through).
2. Witty (someone who draws you in with words and quick thinking).
3. Confident (people who are direct and zero in what they want and go for it).
Flirting Styles that TURN ME OFF
1. Mysterious and vague (a person who’s a little elusive and seems difficult to pin down).
2. Mirroring (the person takes cues from you and then responds in kind).
3. Coy (someone who’s a little reclusive and who plays hard to get).
Know My Preferred Pace
When it comes to talking to Carl about an offline meeting or date, Carl prefers to have someone communicate with them via:
telephone
instant messaging
email
Generally speaking, Carl prefers communicating with someone online at least four days to a week before meeting them offline. Therefore, Carl may well want to talk to friends about you and get their feedback. Or, Carl may well be trying not to get too caught up in the moment. Allow this person some time and space before pushing to meet.
A note of caution from the relationship experts! Warning signs of online predators or people with abusive tendencies include someone who:
• Makes demeaning or inappropriate remarks.
• Provides inconsistent information about his/her age, appearance, marital status or employment.
• Refuses to provide a recent photo or series of photos.
• Refuses to talk on the phone as the relationship develops.
• Insists on seeing (or having) photos of your children or knowing considerable details about them early in the relationship.
And whenever meeting someone offline, note these safety tips!
• When you’re ready to meet someone in person, choose a public place such as a café or coffee shop, preferably during the day.
• You may want to keep the first meeting casual and brief (e.g. an hour).
• Take your own car or transportation. Don’t offer to pick up your date or let them pick you up.
• Tell a friend or family member about your plans and where you’ll be on your date.
• Never bring your children with you when meeting someone for the first time. And be hesitant about showing photos of your child as well.
• You can have a friend sit at a nearby table in a coffee shop or café to keep an eye on you, if you would feel more comfortable.
• Carry a cell phone with you on the date for emergencies.
• Never leave your food or drink unattended.
• When it’s time for the date to end, leave on your own. Avoid going straight home and drive to the store or another public place.
Know How to Talk to Me
Communication is important both to men and women – and it is an underrated aspect of seduction. Knowing what not to talk about with a particular person can be just as important as knowing what is fine to talk about. Here are the trends Plenty of Fish’s Seduction Survey identified for women. These will be useful when communicating with Carl. Men’s Top Ten Favorite Conversation Topics
1. Sex
2. Romantic fantasies
3. Hobbies/interests in general
4. Hopes and aspirations
5. Music
6. Dreams
7. Movies
8. Entertainment
9. Vacations
10. Travel Men’s Top Ten Least Favorite Conversation Topics
1. Past relationships
2. Other dates
3. Celebrities
4. Religion
5. Politics
6. Antiques
7. Money
8. Fashion
9. Gardening
10. Marriage
My favorite conversation topics – in Carl’s own words!
1. carreer
2. family
3. fun stuff
My least favorite conversation topics – in Carl’s own words!
1. old relationships
2. nothing really
3. nothing really
Know My Preferred Dating Attitude
Carl’s answer patterns suggest there should be a good response to someone whose attitude or temperament is downright effervescent. Bottom Line: Show off – even exude – the side of you that is high energy and even a little wild. Carl wants to see your sense of humor, creativity and intelligence as well as a positive attitude throughout your words and actions.
Next, Plenty of Fish presents some customized, probing questions to help you get to break the ice with this type of person: • “What are your guilty pleasures in life?”
• “What is the oddest thing you have ever had a dream about?“
• “How would you dress up for a fancy date on the town, a costume party with friends or a role play adventure with a lover?”
Step 2: How to Date Me!
Building on the “approach” is the way you handle actual dates. Dates should be fun for both individuals and allow the couple to begin knowing each other on deeper level than what is possible with casual online dating. Dating is where you truly explore and assess the chemistry, friendship and overall compatibility between you. However, people’s dating preferences can vary widely. So, below are preferences to keep in mind for Carl!
Know How I Like to Pace a Date
To Carl, a first date should last However long makes sense, since I prefer to go with the flow , and the date would ideally be Somewhat planned – I like to have a general idea of what we’ll be doing.
Know My Favorite Dating Activities
Dinner is the classic date – and for good reason. It allows two people to focus on each other in a romantic environment, while satiating their palate and providing the opportunity to suggest ways two people can be mutually pleasured later. But, men and women both agree that some spots are more appropriate than others. The new Plenty of Fish Seduction Survey discovered what places are hot or not. The list below shows the top ten choices. Restaurants at the top part of the list are rated the most favorable, whereas those at the bottom are rated less favorable. Notice how those that are least preferred may reflect lower levels of romance to some people. Keep that in mind if you take Carl to dinner!
Top Ten Restaurant Types for a Date
1. Casual dinner
2. Pub
3. Retro bar with live music
4. French cuisine
5. Ethnic
6. Pizza place
7. Western
8. Salad bar
9. Sushi bar
10. Family dinner
Of course, there are a host of dating activities besides the classic dinner and a movie. The Plenty of Fish Seduction Survey found which date picks for women are the best and the worst: Men’s Top Ten Date Picks
1. Taking a romantic walk
2. Restaurant
3. Park
4. Cook dinner at home
5. Coffee shop
6. Scenic car ride
7. Stay in and rent a movie
8. Bowling or Playing Pool
9. Live music
10. Comedy Club Men’s Top Ten Least Favorite Date Picks
1. High School Reunion, Work party or Wedding
2. Antique fair/ show
3. Cultural Event (opera, ballet, etc)
4. Shopping
5. Dance Club
6. Mixer
7. House Party
8. Theater (musical, play)
9. Bar
10. Sports event
Favorite dating activities – in Carl’s own words!
1. car stuff
2. theme parks
3. family events
Least favorite dating activities – in Carl’s own words!
1. na
2. na
3. na
Know My Expectations for Ending a Date
Assuming the first date goes well, Carl may take it as far as a kiss goodbye on the cheeks. Carl probably likes to take my time getting to know somebody before sharing too much of myself.
Dating Dos and Don’ts!
The Plenty of Fish Seduction Survey presented respondents with wide assortment of factors that can totally turn somebody on – as well as off. Both men and women agree on many of the elements that can make your efforts wildly successful or totally futile. In figuring out how to best woo a lady, consider avoiding the following turn-off’s, as well as incorporating the following turn-on’s. Furthermore, consider ways to maintain behaviors well beyond the preliminary stages of dating, as these factors will also help to maintain passion and intrigue in each other.
Music
Men’s Top Ten Turn-Offs
1. Poor hygiene
2. Bad breath
3. Rude to staff
4. Complains a lot
5. Boring
6. Poor manners
7. Puts others down
8. Poor listener
9. Distracted / preoccupied
10. Someone who’s balding Men’s Top Ten Turn-Ons
1. Passionate
2. Sexy appearance
3. Affectionate/cuddlesome
4. Smiles a lot
5. Romantic
6. Shows good eye contact
7. Intelligent
8. Easy going
9. Good listener
10. Well-groomed
Major TURN ONs – in Carl's own words!1. sweet
2. respect
3. likes family and kids
Major TURN OFFs – in Carl's own words! 1. rude
2. way over weight
3. does not like kids or family
Step 3: How to Sexually Seduce Me!
Know My Sexual Personality
One’s overall sexual personality reflects two core meta-traits that experts traditionally refer to as Alpha and Beta. With respect to sexual motivations, Alpha concerns intimacy and affiliation, and Beta concerns power or dominance. This means that those scoring high on Alpha typically approach sex as a means to an end – such as strengthening an attachment or deepening intimacy with a lover. Those scoring high on Beta tend to regard sex as its own reward.
Carl scored lower on Alpha and higher on Beta, so we call this profile a “Tiger.” Tigers tend to push sexual boundaries – theirs and others. For them, sex is more an outlet for adult play and physical pleasure than it is merely a way to express love and admiration for a partner. Tigers do not necessarily use sex as a means to get closer to a lover or to solidify the relationship, Their focus is more that of enjoying pursuit and capture, and taking the lead on how to passionately play with their “victim,” helpless to their invigorating sexual energy and wiles.
In getting to know a “Tiger” better, Plenty of Fish would like to suggest some customized, probing inquiries to help you:
• “How would you describe your boundaries when it comes to sexual activities?”
• “What do you think of the saying ‘sex is a joining of bodies and souls’?”
• “What sexual pleasure pursuit, if any, has caught you off guard as far as what ultimately became of it – for better or for worse?”
• “Describe what it would be like for you to let your partner take charge in the sack.”
• “How have you attempted to tap into your spiritual energy during sexual activity, if ever?”
Know My Romantic Fantasies
Plenty of Fish is about to reveal the latest in research on romantic fantasies – what men and women think about when they’re seducing themselves or a lover. Before we delve into those results, however, it’s interesting to note that, in general, research has found that the differences between the sexes when it comes to sexual fantasies aren’t too great. Both sexes enjoy fantasies involving threesomes (whatever the combination), using a video camera, current partners, reliving past experiences and oral sex. Naturally, however, research has also found gender differences when it comes to fantasy… Women’s fantasies are heavier on new lovemaking positions, sex in exotic places, being “forced “to have sex, bondage, being found absolutely irresistible, sex with a new lover and doing something “wicked.” Male fantasies tend to focus on sensual, nongenital (no penis or vagina) lovemaking, having sex in general, group sex, voyeurism and being aggressive or dominant during sex. That said, here’s what the Plenty of Fish Seduction Survey discovered about the realm of fantasies…
…On to the details
An important part of seducing a man is playing upon his senses and imagination in a way that sets the right mood for physical intimacy and arousal, and releasing inhibitions. The “right” mood varies, in general, between men and women, as well as amongst individuals. New research sponsored by Plenty of Fish has further discovered some predictable trends for men.
Men tend to be extremely visual, fantasizing about a number of different potential partners, mostly people he would like to have sex with (e.g., stranger, multiple or anonymous), however unrealistic such notions. Such visions also typically involve more specific sex acts, body parts, and a fantasized partner’s response. They also like to come out on top, essentially “conquering” their sexual needs and partner. Therefore, most men like romantic fantasies that allow them to experience what they normally couldn’t have – a tryst with a favorite female celebrity, playing doctor with the forbidden school nurse or the homeroom teacher, or a passionate office romance. On that top of this, a number of men also like romantic fantasies that feed their egos – themes that deal with being an object of desire and admiration as well as doting on his every sexual desire. Examples include a rock star with a groupie, police officer with a criminal, or a famous porn star. Finally, on top of these two previous groups of themes, there are some men who really go for themes of dominance and authority – military or firefighter scenarios or even abductions or kidnappings. They are likelier to view others as the objects of their own sexual desires than to be that object of desire.
Bottom line: “With male sexual fantasies more visually explicit, promiscuous and easily provoked by a variety of sources, men tend to be concerned most with control issues, visual cues of connectedness with a partner, and the degree of physical connection to a lover. So when considering how this can play into a romantic relationship, women should play to this idea by stimulating him with a variety of arousing stimuli, like sights and textures, that reinforce his ideal romantic fantasy and to maintain his sexual interest and arousability. The pair should also incorporate a great deal of storytelling as a part of foreplay, heavy on rich descriptors and different scenarios.
Next, Plenty of Fish presents some customized, probing questions to help you explore romantic fantasies with Carl:
• “Should a person ever reveal all of their sexual fantasies? Why or why not?”
• “How do you know when it’s safe to confess your romantic fantasies with a partner?”
• “What are some of the benefits of fantasy for an individual and a relationship?”
• “Which of your fantasies make you blush?”
• “Are you the type of person who likes to enact romantic fantasies on the spur of the moment and with little resources, or are you more likely to spare no expense and plan it well in advance?“
• “If you could direct a theatre production of one of your favorite fantasies, how would it play out?”
Food for Thought! Plenty of Fish wants you to know about some idiosyncrasies related to “Romantic Fantasies” that the assessment identified in Carl.
Romantic fantasies I find especially unappealing
Romantic fantasies I find especially appealing
Romantic fantasies I might discover I like with the right person
Cruel brothel boss & sex worker
Principal & student
Therapist & patient
Know My Fantasy Locations
Another critical part of seduction is the physical setting. The “right” fantasy location can really help set the mood and make for an incredible and memorable intimate experience. The “right” fantasy setting varies between men and women, as well as among individuals. However, Plenty of Fish’s new research also reveals predictable trends about what men prefer. Remember men tend to be physically-oriented. As such, most men like fantasy locations that are secluded and idealistic, but also tend to be a bit action-oriented. These settings show a remarkable range, such as ships/ boats, road trips, vacations, camping, carriage rides, and historical landmarks (e.g., Egyptian Pyramids). On that top of this, a number of men also like fantasy locations that really kick adrenaline into high gear and lend themselves to spontaneous expressions of passion. These are locations that speak to the sensation-seeking and risk-taking side of men – airplanes, hot air balloons, concerts, barns or farms and settings for an office romance. Finally, on top of these two previous groups of themes, there are some men who really go for archetypal themes and fantasies of lost innocence. Examples of this include time travel and science fiction themes, dark alleys, military settings, Hollywood movie sets and scenes related to adolescence like classrooms, gymnasiums and planetariums.
Bottom line: When it comes to fantasy settings, men tend to be most concerned with their ability to feel alive and invigorated, in control, and able to show passion spontaneously. Men like giving in to raw urges as only provoked in exciting environments, as well as places that stoke their adolescent fantasies. Therefore, women should revel in the fact that that means fun, uninhibited play. Men strive for the experience of sweeping a woman off her feet and rocking her world in pleasantly surprising ways and in new, “unexplored” environments. The more she can humor, if not delve into, his settings exploration, the better the experiences to be had for both of them.
Next, Plenty of Fish presents some customized, probing questions to help you explore romantic fantasies with Carl:
• “What ‘make out’ spots from your adolescence do you fondly remember even to this day?”
• “Which countries do you think of when you think “most romantic”? Now how about sexiest?”
• “If money was no object, where would the most memorable and passionate place be to make love to your partner for the very first time?”
Food for Thought! Plenty of Fish wants you to know about some idiosyncrasies related to “Fantasy Locations” that the assessment identified in Carl.
Fantasy locations I find especially unappealing
Fantasy locations I find especially appealing
Flowers
Fantasy locations I might discover I like with the right person
Dancing club
Concert
Scented candles
Know My Sexual Fantasies
Ultimately, seduction leads to physical intimacy. And just as people prefer certain moods and settings, men and women also prefer particular types of sex play. The new research sponsored by Plenty of Fish has discovered some predictable trends for what sex play most appeals to men. Keeping in mind that men tend to be visual sexually speaking, most men like to read erotica with their partners, indulge in nude picture taking or videotaping intimate encounters, rip off clothes, and try exhibitionism (getting intimate in public settings). On top of this, a number of men also like sex play that allows them to experience the allure of different tactile sensations – food, spanking, light biting and pinching, and the feel of stockings, hosiery and different types of clothing on a partner such as jeans, leather and silk. Finally, on top of these two previous groups of themes, there are some men who really go for activities that allow them to act out impulses of dominance and power – bondage, hot wax and other B&D/S&M play. For these men, wild and sensual types of clothing are really appealing. Examples include rubber and latex, spandex and a variety of different types of shoes or boots on a partner.
Bottom line: “When it comes to sexual preferences, men like to indulge their senses during foreplay and sex – particularly the senses of sight and touch, Therefore, women should understand that certain playful sexual fixations help men feel empowered and more masculine. Furthermore, particular behaviors that involve ‘objectifying’ their partner or fantasized partners (sharing erotica, wanting to take photos or making videotapes) can be complimentary and reflect the fact that he finds his lover extremely desirable.
Next, Plenty of Fish presents some customized, probing questions to help you explore sexual fantasies with Carl:
• “What types of foreplay turn you on?”
• “What do you tend to find more arousing on a woman – a certain color or a specific type of clothing? Which is your favorite of either?“
• “Why do you suppose that some average, everyday couples find taking nude photographs of each other or making special home movies so erotic?”
Food for Thought! Plenty of Fish wants you to know about some idiosyncrasies related to “Sexual Fantasies” that the assessment identified in Carl.
Sex play I find especially unappealing
Sex play I find especially Appealing
Panty fetishism
Silk/Satin fetishism
Corset fetishism
Sex play I might discover I like with the right person
Eyeglasses fetishism
Boot/shoe fetishism
Jeans fetishism
