Christian, raconteur, pugilist, requisite intellectual, affable and unequaled, therefore....lonely. A symposium of bacchanalia even behind closed doors. A grotesque spectacle of lunacy. An ever vigilant sentinel with unsurpassed loyalty to my beloved. For those of you who already know me, congratulations! For those who have not yet had the pleasure, please, put on something nice, dim your lights, and permit me then, in lieu of the more commonplace sobriquet, to suggest the character of this dramatis personae.

I am a six foot two, two-hundred and fifty-two pound wrecking ball tied together by guitar strings, piano wire and veins filled with love, booze, and pure will. I'm an egomaniacal, emotionally-crippled, self-centered narcissist who often times just fails to give a damn. If you shake my hand I recommend you count your fingers. Once a guy tried to mug me for thirty dollars, sometimes I feel bad that he'll live the rest of his life in a wheelchair, sometimes I feel bad about constantly bragging about putting him there.

I am from Knoxville, Tennessee originally and couldn't be more proud. I currently reside in Nicholasville, Kentucky where I split my time between tough guy and Casanova. I have Jesus in my heart and stay in touch with him and The Father. My brand of cigarettes are Pall Mall 100's in a flip-top box. My favorite drink is bourbon and coke. I sleep in the nude and dance in the rain. I have a backbone of steel and a will of iron. Sarcasm is a spice of life, so bring it on.

If I opened a gay bar I'd have a sewer lid for the logo and call it "The Man Hole". I want to paint the moon yellow and call it “the other sunâ€. My pet peeves include: stupid people, holding the door for someone who still touches said door, ergo leaving the impression that I'd for some reason let it go on them and if you have a brown dog in a brown sweater I WILL smack you. I can nail just about any movie quote. Proving once and for all that I know everything about nothing. Although I tried out for Jeopardy once and doing so actually proved that I don’t know everything about nothing so ignore that last statement.

I bask in the simpler things in life, there is nothing better than when your girlfriend leaves your apartment but it still smells like her (note: I am talking about general odor not well…um you know)! While I am funny and kind of a smart ass I still have goals, which I have worked really hard to achieve and will continue to do so. I love having someone that I have chemistry with and that wants to share in my life or that wants to dress me up as a cop and have me “arrest herâ€, either one works for me. I'm pragmatic but spontaneous. Nurturing but competitive. Peaceful but energetic.

Anything else you wanna know? Just ask......