Female
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Joined on June 21, 2012
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Relationship status: Married
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Born on September 16th
11
Full time nursing student and small hobby Bengal cat breeder. I'm married to a great man and have no plans on changing that . Like to have fun, make new friends and chat. We have a Harley and like to go to bike rallies or just travel period.
The Original Joke of the DAy Recently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question. St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked,"What was the name of the ship that crashed into the iceberg? They just made a movie about it." The teacher answered quickly,"That would be the Titanic." St. Peter let him through the gate. St. Peter turned to the garbage man and, figuring Heaven didn't *really* need all the odors that this guy would bring with him, decided to make the question a little harder:"How many people died on the ship?" Fortunately for him, the trash man had just seen the movie."1,228," he answered."That's right! You may enter." St. Peter turned to the lawyer."Name them."
The Original Joke of the DAy Three buddies die in a car crash, and they go to heaven to an orientation.They are all asked,"When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you? The first guy says,"I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man." The second guy says,"I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher which made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow." The last guy replies,"I would like to hear them say,"Look! He's moving
The Original Joke of the DAy Two guys were in a bar, and they were both watching the television when the news came on. It showed a guy on a bridge who was about to jump, obviously suicidal."I'll bet you $10 he'll jump," said the first guy."Bet you $10 he won't," said the second guy.Then, the guy on the television closed his eyes and threw himself off the bridge. The second guy hands the first guy the money."I can't take your money," said the first guy."I cheated you. The same story was on the five o'clock news.""No, no. Take it," said the second guy."I saw the five o'clock news too. I just didn't think the guy was dumb enough to jump again!"
The Original Joke of the DAy There was a perfect man who met a perfect woman. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect.One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve this perfect couple was driving along a winding road when they noticed someone at the roadside in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help. There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle.Soon they were driving along delivering the toys. Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived the accident. Who was the survivor? The perfect woman. She's the only one that really existed in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man.* A Male's Response * So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the perfect woman must have been driving. This explains why there was a car accident
The Original Joke of the DAy A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."To which his wife responds:"He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"
The Original Joke of the DAy Once, in the 1820's, a little boy called Sam was playing in the yard behind his house. During his pretend fighting game, he knocked over the outhouse. Now Sam was upset and worried that he would get into trouble so he ran into the woods and didn't come out until after got dark. When he arrived back home, his pappy was waiting for him. He asked suspiciously,"Son, did you knock over the outhouse this afternoon?""No, pappy," Sam lied."Well, let me tell you a story," said the father."Once, not that long ago, Mr Lincoln received a shiny new axe from his father. Excited, he tried it out on a tree, swiftly cutting it down. But as he looked at the tree, with dismay he realized it was his mother's favorite cherry tree," his pappy paused." just like you, he ran into the woods. When he returned, his pappy asked, 'Abraham, did you cut down the cherry tree?' Abraham answered with, 'Father, I cannot tell a lie. I did indeed chop down the tree.' Then his father said, 'Well, since you were honest with me, you are spared from punishment. I hope you have learned your lesson, though.' So," the Sam's father asked again," did you knock down the outhouse?""Pappy, I cannot tell a lie any more." said the little boy."I did indeed knock down the outhouse."Then his pappy father spanked Sam boy red, white, and blue. The boy whimpered,"Pappy, I told you the truth! Why did you spank me?"Pappy answered,"That's because Abraham Lincoln's father wasn't in the tree when he chopped it down!"
. Like to have fun, make new friends and chat. We have a Harley and like to go to bike rallies or just travel period. 
The Original Joke of the DAy 
The Original Joke of the DAy 
