Stuck In the MudOn the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together. One day, the two were playing when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink. Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the farmer for help! Off the chicken ran, back to the farm.Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone to town with the only tractor. Running around, the chicken spied the farmer's new Harley. Finding the keys in the ignition, the chicken sped off with a length of rope hoping he still had time to save his friend's life. Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arrive on the shiny Harley, and he managed to get a hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him. After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the farmer's bike, the chicken then drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the powerful bike, rescued the horse!Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the farmhouse, and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned. The friendship between the two animals was cemented: best buddies, best pals. A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and soon, he too, began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life! The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle. Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his dick and he would then lift him out of the pit. The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out, saving his life.The moral of the story?When you're hung like a horse, you don't need a Harley to pick up chicks.
A Bad DayThere's a guy sitting at a biker bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half an hour. Then, a big trouble-making biker steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down.The poor man starts crying. The biker says,"Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand seeing a man crying.""No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I'm late to my office. My boss, in an outrage, fires me. When I leave the building to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police say they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away. I go home and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home and come to this bar. And when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison..."
Screwed By Nuns"I was riding my Harley when I saw a sign by the road that said [Sisters of St. Mary's Convent, 10 miles, get screwed for only $ 50.], I thought, nahh must be a joke. A little further, there was another sign, [Sisters of St. Mary's Convent, next exit, follow signs & get screwed for only $50]. Well I thought I gotta check this out, so I took the exit & followed the signs. Pulling into the parking lot I saw only a couple of other bikes. I went up & knocked on the door, a nun actually answered. I said,"um, I saw the signs by the road.""Oh" she smiled,"Come on in." So I did, then she said,"You want to go down that hall on the right & then knock on the second door", so I did, (knock). A half dressed nun with the greatest body I've ever seen on a sister answered, & smiled, she said"I'm just getting finished so just put the $50 in the jar on the dresser & go through that door at the end of the room, & wait a sec" She winks, & points to the door, & then saunters out wigglin' one hell of a nice ass. I put my money in the jar, & went out the door. To my surprise, I found myself back in the parking lot. I thought this must be a mistake, & turned back to the door. There was a sign that read,"YOU've just been screwed for $50 by the Sisters of St. Mary's, Sinner" You just can't trust a nun.
Just Say NO!A ten year-old boy was walking down the street when a big man on a black motorcycle, pulls up beside him and asks,"Hey kid, wanna go for a ride?""No!", said the boy, and he kept on walking. The motorcyclist pulls up to him again and says,"Hey kid,, I'll give you $10 if you hop on the back""NO!" said the boy and proceeded down the street a little quicker.The motorcyclist pulls up to the boy again and says,"Ok kid, I'll give you $20 and a BIG bag of candy if you hop on the back for a ride."At this point the boy turns around to him and screams angrily,"Look Dad, YOU bought the Honda, so YOU ride it!!
Biker Anniversary GiftsThree men, a doctor, a lawyer, & a biker, were sitting in a bar talking over a few drinks. After a sip of his martini, the doctor said,"You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I bought my wife a diamond ring & a new Mercedes. I figure if she doesn't like the diamond ring, then at least she will like the Mercedes, & she will know that I love her."After finishing his scotch, the lawyer said,"Well, on my last anniversary, I bought my wife a string of pearls & a trip to the Bahamas. I figured if she didn't like the pearls, then at least she would have enjoyed the trip, & she would have known that I loved her."The Biker then took a big swig from his beer, & said,"Yeah, well for my anniversary, I got my old lady a t-shirt & a vibrator. I figured if she didn't like the t-shirt, then she could go fuck herself."
Biker meets ViagraCrash, the Biker, walks into a pharmacy & says to the pharmacist,"Listen, I have three biker babes coming over tonight. I've never had three biker babes at once, & I need something to keep me horny, keep me potent."The pharmacist reaches under the counter, unlocks the bottom drawer & takes out a small cardboard box marked with a label"Viagra Extra Strength" & says,"Here, if you eat this, you'll go NUTS for 12 hours!"The next day, Crash rides down to the same pharmacy, walks right up to the same pharmacist & pulls down his pants.The pharmacist looks in horror as he notices that Crash's Johnson is black & blue with the skin hanging off in some places.Crash says,"Gimme a bottle of Ben Gay."The pharmacist replies,"BEN GAY?! You're not going to put Ben Gay onyour dick while it's in that condition?"Crash says,"No, it's for my arms, the girls didn't show up."
I Want A WomanA biker has been on the road for a weeks, without female companionship, and decides to get rid of the frustration.At the next town, after finding out the location of the local bordello, he heads straight to it.He kicks the door in, yelling"I want a woman, and I want one now!!"The Madame recognizes his urgency, and ushers him into the main room where her best lady is.The hooker is very impressed with what she sees as this big hunk starts stripping, exposing rippling muscles & tattoos, and eagerly waits to see the size of the love muscle.Her shock could not be hidden, when the smallest Willy that she had ever seen was displayed. With contempt, she sneered at him,"and who the hell do you think you're gonna satisfy with that ?"The biker just gave her a knowing smile, and replied.."ME"
Lonely BikerA biker has been in a small town in the Midwest for two weeks when he begins to miss his wife. After another two weeks, he just can't stand it anymore. He decides to visit a brothel in town.He goes up to the madam and says,"Here is a hundred dollars. Give me the worst blow job in the house.""But sir," says the madam,"For a hundred dollars, you don't have a settle for the worst blow job. As a matter of fact, you could get the best.""No, no," says the man,"you don't understand. I'm not horny, I'm homesick."
girl! how are u gonna look at my pic and not send me a friend request?!?! i didnt know that u had a cherrytap? whats new with you? i havent talked to u in FOREVER!!!
